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'Dang, we lost another one...maybe this whole laughter thing is a crock.'
Christmas Group Therapy.
Tags:group therapy, therapy, group, groups, christmas, christmases, santa claus, santa, snowman, snowmen, snow, reindeer, reindeers, elf, elves, christmas elf, christmas elves, believe in myself, dead end job, treat, treats, treatment, treating, treated, shrink, psychiatrist, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"I know a guy who does amazing things with water."
Tags:doctor, doctors, treat, treatment, treating, treats, treated, examination, examine, examines, recommend, recommendation, gp, general practitioner, g.p., personal physician, suggest, suggesting, plastic surgery, profit, profiteering, unhelpful, fire, fires, hair, hairs, flaming, flames, redhead, redheads, absurd, ridiculous
"This is not going to help my Messianic complex, doctor."
Tags:messiah, messiahs, messianic complex, messianic complexes, doctor, doctors, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatrics, treatment, treatments, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, analyst, analysts, psychoanalysis, worship, worships, worshiping, worshipping, reverse psychology, kiss the ring, kisses the ring, kissing the ring
'Do I know about incontinence? No I never was good at Geography.'
"What happened to the hospital gown you were given?"
Tags:klan, the klan, robe, robes, wizard, grand wizard, gnome, gnomes, peasant, peasants, patient, patients, examination room, examination, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, treatment, treating, treatments, gown, gowns, pun, puns, play on words, word play, racism, race, disobedience, disobedient, obedient, obedience, obey, obeyed, check-up, check up, checkup, check-ups, checkups, check ups, hood, hoods, hooded, political, politics, ethnicity, nationality
'The NHS wants patients to make more decisions about their treatment...so here's your blood tests and a prescription pad, I'll be back later.'
"I'm beginning to think he's crazier than I am."
"Well, I do have this recurring dream that one day I might see some results."
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, shrink, shrinks, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, patient, patients, mental health, dream, dreams, dreaming, recurring dream, recurring dreams, result, results, cure, cures, treatment, treatments, medical, medicine, health
'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'
'He's our team doctor, athletic trainer, chiropractor and psychiatrist all rolled in one.'
Tags:basketball, basket ball, basketball player, basketball players, basketball team, basketball teams, all rolled into one, doctor, athletic trainer, trainer, trainers, doctors, training, chiropractor, chiropractors, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, therapy, treatment, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"I've sent last minute treatments to all the major studios."
Tags:movie, movies, movie treatment, movie treatments, movie maker, movie makers, film treatment, film treatments, treatment, treatments, film, films, filming, film maker, filmmaker, film makers, filmmakers, producer, producers, director, directors, screenplay, screenplays, story board, storyboard, story boards, storyboards, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, crimes, criminal, criminals, prison, prisons, jail, jails, prisoner, prisoners, inmate, inmates, cellmate, cellmates, locked up, locked away
"These won't cure your allergy, but they'll send it a message."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, allergy, allergies, cure, cures, curing, treat, treating, treatment, treatments, drug, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicine, medicines, meds, medication, medications, prescription, prescriptions, pill, pills, message, messages, sending a message, threat, threaten, threatening, threats
"You've really been with us quite a while, haven't you, Hepburn?"
Tags:hospital, hospital stay, hospital stays, long stay, long stays, hospitalized, hospitalization, hospitalize, hospitalizing, in hospital, sympathy, flower, flowers, flower arrangement, flower arrangements, flower arranger, flower arrangers, ill, illness, illnesses, sick, sickness, unknown illness, unknown illnesses, undiagnosed, diagnosis, diagnoses, treatment, treatments
"Well, now that you have it, you can stop worrying about getting it."
Tags:doctor, doctors, consolation, unhelpful, medicine, medical, diagnose, diagnosis, worry, worries, patient, patients, worrying, contract, contracted, worried, not helpful, counterproductive, unprofessional, bad, bad medicine, worries, fear, fearful, fears, doctors office, prognosis, treatment, treatments
'The bad news is chemo can kill you before the cancer does. The good news is the medical bills and health insurance can kill you before the chemo does.'
'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'
Pharmacy Closed. . . Chicken Soup.
"While it's not a cure, it does mean a guaranteed income for me."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, sick, sickness, ill, illness, diagnosis, diagnoses, treatment, treatments, treating, cure, cures, income, guaranteed, money, bill, bills, billing, money, medical bill, medical bills, medical costs, cost, costs, expenses, expensive, medical billing, greed, greedy, health insurance, medical insurance, insurance, universal healthcare, universal health care, socialised medicine, socialized medicine, socialised healthcare, socialised health care, socialized healthcare, socialized health care, medicaid, medicare, obamacare
'Rooms are $200 a day. Did you want nurses. . .? Bed. . .? Sheets. . .?'
"I'm afraid we'll have no chance of curing your husband until we find out why he changed into a banana."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, transformation, transformations, rare disease, rare diseases, disease, diseases, banana, bananas, husband, husbands, wife, wives, couple, couples, marriage, marriages, married life, cure, cures, curing, treatment, treatments, diagnosis, diagnoses, ill, illness, sick, sickness, fantasy, strange, unusual
'Conventional medicine says take an aspirin. In the absence of tort reform, defensive medicine says MRI and Cat Scan.'
"You're responding beautifully. Let's go ahead and see what happens if we increase your deductible."
Tags:deductible, deductibles, insurance, insurance deductible, insurance deductibles, treatment, treatments, insurance overage, insurance fee, insurance fees, fee, fees, treat, treats, treating, chronic illness, chronic illnesses, high risk, high risk pool, high risk pools, american healthcare, healthcare