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'Please put your tray table and seat in their upright and locked position... ooh! Didn't say Simon Sez.'
"Where the conspiracy theories of the right overlap the conspiracy theories of the left, you'll find Richard."
Tags:left, left wing, right, right wing, venn, venn diagram, diagram, overlap, overlaps, overlapping, extreme, extremism, extreme views, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theories, theory, theories, internet, internet age, internet culture, culture, counter culture, pop culture, inevitable, inevitability, modern, modern life, modern world, information, inform, information age, era, tech, technological, conspiracy theorist, crazy, strange, weird, believe, trick, tricked, spook, spooked, tin foil hat, tinfoil hat, tin-foil hat
'Last year my kids put a sign on my back, but tomorrow, on April Fools Day, I'll be ready, they won't get me again.'
'Oh my lord, they've turned into pillows!'
'Keep popping those tops, Sammy! Draw that buck in a little closer and then we'll jump him!'
Tags:hunter, hunt, hunts, hunters, hunting, hunted, predator, predators, prey, deer, deers, moose, beer, beers, lure, lured, luring in, bait, lures, luring, trick, tricks, tricked, jump, jumped, umps, mug, mugging, mugger, muggers, mugs, revenge, retaliation, only fair, retaliate, retaliating, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"It makes them feel special."
Tags:offices, office worker, office workers, cubicle, cubicles, office cubicles, office cubicle, cordon, cordoned, cordon off, cordoned off, trick, trickery, tricked, false sense of achievement, feel special, feeling special, the rat race, rat race, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, employer, employers, barrier, barriers, personal space
Iced drink antidote
'... and when I snap my fingers, you will completely forget that I was doing 87 in a 45 mph zone...'
"You seem perfectly healthy to me."
Tags:donald, trump, the donald, laundry detergent, challenge, deadly, not food, not edible, inedible, poisonous, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, checkup, checkups, physical, physicals, physician, physicians, president, presidents, government, tricked, fooled, internet meme, internet game, internet challenge, social media, social media challenge
"You've lived many lives, all as an accountant."
Tags:accountant, accountants, boring job, boring jobs, boring life, boring lives, wasted life, fortune teller, fortune tellers, soothsayer, soothsayers, crystal ball, crystal balls, career, careers, accounting, accounting job, accounting jobs, multiple lives, con, cons, con artist, con artists, trick, tricked, trickery, waste of time, let-down, let-downs, let down, let downs, disappoint, disappointed, disappointment, disappointments
Please (don't) feed Birds.
'What'll it be...'
Tags:halloween, trick or treat, treat, treats, treating, treated, trick, tricks, tricking, tricked, trickster, tricksters, prank, pranks, pranking, pranked, prankster, pranksters, clean, cleans, cleaning, cleaner, cleaners, cleaned, egg, eggs, egging, egged, mess, messes, messy, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'The other hand.'
'... 'Bite it,' I said. 'It's catch and release,' I said ... Now I feel horrible.'
Tags:fish, fishing, fisher, fishers, fishes, fished, fisherman, fishermen, bass, tournament, fish fry, catch and release, bite it, bite, bitten, catch, catches, catcher, catchers, caught, kill, killed, kills, tricked, trick, tricks, lie, lied, liar, lying, mistake, mistaken, mistakes, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Don't be a fool, Kevin! How do you know that he's a certified teaching pro?'
Tags:golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, alligator, alligators, crocodile, crocodiles, pro, pros, professional, professionals, trick, tricks, tricking, tricked, fool, fools, fooled, fooling, deceive, deceives, deceiving, deceived, lesson, lessons, teach, teaches, teaching, teacher, teachers, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Don't be a fool!!'
Tags:run, running, runs, runner, runners, marathon, marathons, ran, witch, witches, drink, drinking, drinks, drank, refreshing, refresh, refreshed, refreshes, fool, fooled, trick, tricked, tricking, tricks, poison, poisoned, poisons, potion, potions, magic, black magic, evil, dark magic, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"The president decided, instead of delaying the election, he'd ensure its legitimacy by counting the votes himself."
Tags:president trump, president donald trump, trump, donald trump, the donald, vote, votes, voting, voted, count, counts, counting, counters, counted, counter, tally, tallies, board, boards, blackboard, blackboards, delay, delays, delaying, delayed, election, elections, legitimacy, legitimate, 2020 election, 2020 elections, november elections, us politics, presidential campaign, tactic, tactics, trick, tricks, tricking, tricked, rig, rigs, rigging, rigged
Hook, Line and Stinker
Tags:trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, trump administration, bait-and-switch, bait, false promises, false promise, hook line and sinker, trick, tricked, deceived, election promises, political change, political status quo, status qu, fishing, fisher, fishers, fishing line, fish, stinker, stinkers, pun, puns, wordplay
Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe
Tags:merry christmas, christmas, happy christmas, happy holidays, happy new year, merry, season's greetings, mistletoe, mice, mouse, vermin, rodent, rodents, rat, rats, cat, cats, mouser, house cat, house mouse, mouse hole, kitty, kitties, kitten, kittens, decoration, decorations, pet, pets, domestic, domestic animal, domestic pet, kiss, kissing, eat, eating, trick, tricked, tricking, trickery
'Why is Bob standing on his head?'
Fresh off the boat and dazed by the tropical sun, Bert falls prey to the sales-rep devouring Giant Mushroom of Indonesia.
Sociopathic canary in a coal mine
Santa, alien, easter bunny and sasquatch plan the perfect caper.
What to do when someone tall sits in front of you at the movies. . .