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"...And now for the local news."
'There's a thin line between good taste and bad taste. Does anyone know where that line is?'
"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."
"Do your market research. Dig. Poll. We want this to be he freshest, most original group of reruns ever shown."
"Do you remember when the picture wasn't broadcasting properly last week? Viewers and critics are saying that was the most entertaining program we have broadcast in years."
'Your show attracts the 16-34 year olds we want, but our survey shows that none of them has any money!'
'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'
"We've had to rename it, no one watches talk shows anymore."
"Actually it's a brand new comedy about a rag and bone man who goes to jail."