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"No, you die first."
Tags:dead, death, dying, die, dies, died, love, loving, romance, romantic, play on words, word play, word-play, deathbed, death bed, last words, last word, dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, phone, phones, conversation, conversations, lovey dovey, lovey-dovey, gushing, gush, girl, girly, twist, twists, twisted, date, dates, dating, things we do for love, doomed love, extreme, extreme feelings, no you, no you hang up
"Here they come!"
Tags:prank, bucket of water, pranks, death penalty, death, dead, died, dying, sentenced to death, electric chair, electrocuted, electrocution, electricity, police, policemen, guards, prison, prisons, jail, locked up, corrections, correctional officer, police officer, police officers, justice system, giddy, excited, twisted, twisted pleasures, guilty pleasure, guilty, found guilty
'He wouldn't let go of his chair.'
'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."
Tags:medical surgical, surgeon, surgeons, hangnail, hangnails, surgery, accident, accidental, unplanned, doctor, doctors, surgeons, ailment, reparation, redemption, redeeming quality, laughter, jokes, joking, optimistic, optimism, bright side, twisted, warped, sense of humour, sense of humor, bedside manner
'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'
'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'
'Does it hurt when I do this...?'
"Don't look a gift horse in the ass, either."
'You asked for a sick note from my doctor, here it is'
'I keep thinking I'm twisting it the right way, and then I find out I'm not, and then it has even more twists the wrong way, but then I find out I just didn't twist it that way enough.'
'And here to tell us good times are here again, even though we're not so sure, is a spin doctor.'
The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.
'... and then spin the whole thing like it was my idea.'
Old fashioned cars.
'The vet did it.'
'I heard the old man is twisted.'
A yoga man in knots being stretchered to hospital
'Nobody's denying you the right to vent the despair of a twisted and tortured soul...just don't do it when writing the classified ads!'
'I just thought of something awful...'
Murderer about to dump a body in a lake/river trying to disguise his crime.
Today will start off with an interesting twist.
'I'm not going to listen to your sick, filthy, perverted talk, you weirdo!...Unless you give me your credit card number.'
Gymnast tangled up.
Police compensation claim.