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'It's a message from the mothership. Apparently, we've been abducting too many idiots who stand in fields all night looking up at the sky.'
"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"
"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."
"You can stop straining. I read the message wrong. It's 'crop' circle...my bad sorry."
"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"
"I'm telling you we goofed, it's upside down!"
"Bringing him a television from the 1960's has turned him into a cro-magnon rock potato!"
"I'm sorry. How did I know what he would do to your cat if I let him play with it?"
"According to your report he didn't take the probing very well."
"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"
"I took him time traveling. He really enjoyed the wild west."
"You don't even want to know where your key is!"
"OK maybe we should try a different sport."
"Stop writing on the walls! You know they're going to blame me for it."
"He's just learning to use a hammer so I don't think kissing his boo-boo was a smart move."