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'We've got all the figures, we just haven't decided what order to put them in!'
School of Britishness...'You passed on the hopeless optimism for rubbish nationall sports teams but failed on keeping down your lunch after 17 pints of lager.'
"So where were you during the tourist season?"
Tags:monster, monster, creature, creatures, scotland, scottish, uk, united kingdom, great britain, lake, lakes, loch, lochs, loch ness, loch ness monster, nessie, folklore, myth, myths, legend, legends, tourism, tourist, tourists, tourist season, rare, unusual, strange, scotsman, scotsmen, local, locals, tourist attraction, tourist attractions
David Cameron's daughter left in pub: '. . .She was carrying fake I.D.!'
'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'
'Mr. Grubb? It's about your benefit claim.'
"He picked up some kind of anger in England in the late fifties, and he's never been able to shake it."
Tags:england, uk, united kingdom, grump, grumpy, grumpiness, english, stereotype, stereotypes, stereotyping, dour, surly, surliness, furious, pissed off, upset, upsetting, england trip, england trips, bad mood, bad moods, american, americans, cocktail party, cocktail parties, gossip, gossips, gossiping
'And in the next part of the ceremony you will swear allegiance to the Queen.'
'I notice you're claiming non-domicile status, Mr Bull...'
'Just what I didn't want... chocolate euros!'
1952-2012: 60 Glorious Years.
CSIS had a little ink left over, Prime Minister, so they've blacked out your paycheque.
It's exhausting watching all this sport...
Having conducted a survey of 32.4% of the 56.6% of tax experts about 43% of the budget we found an 87.6% probability that we haven't got the foggiest ideas of what it means.
'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'
"Too bad you're not single. You would have been big on Tinder."
Tags:scotland, referendum, independent, independence, independent vote, independence votes, united kingdom, uk, u.k., dating site, dating sites, date, dates, scottish national party, snp, s.n.p., vote, votes, voting, voter, voters, attractive, attractiveness, commiserate, commiserates, commiserating, commiseration
The RIRA, Britain and Ireland...
"Snap elections for a snappy Brexit."
"Your mother and I love you, Nick, but we'll soon be turning you over to mainland China."
Tags:family, families, parent, parents, children, child, responsible, responsibility, responsibilities, hong kong, hk, colony, colonies, england, english, uk, united kingdom, gb, great britain, britain, china, chinese, one china two systems, dinner, family dinner, dinners, regional, 1997, sovereignty, hypocritical, hypocrite
Ed Miliband - Leader of the Labour Party.