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"I yelled 'shazam' and there was lightning and a big explosion. They say I was unconcious for two hours."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, superhero, superheros, hero, heros, superpower, superpowers, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, shazam, lightning, unconscious, knocked out, explosion, explosions
'I warned him. 'Don't text and drive' ... He wouldn't listen.'
"He's gonna be in and out for a while, so we should write something funny on his forehead."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, nurse, medical, medicine, healthcare, health care, patient, patients, coma, comas, unconscious, out cold, knocked out, sleeping, asleep, sick, ill, sickness, illness, bedside manner, fun, funny, prank, pranks, joke, jokes, marker, markers, doodle, doodles, doodling, draw, drawing, drawings, writing, write
At The Oblivion Lounge"A double blotto straight up, Dave."
Tags:blotto, very drunk, drunk, drunken, drink, drinks, drinking, bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartenders, barmaid, barmaids, alcohol, alcoholic drink, alcoholic beverage, alcoholic drinks, alcoholic beverages, straight up, no ice, incompetent, incompetents, incompetency, oblivion, oblivious, unaware, unconscious, intoxicated, intoxication, intoxicating, drunks, customer, customers, customer service, drinker, drinkers, lounge, lounges, shot, shots, double shot, double shots
Coma for twenty years
"You owe me five bucks."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, dating, date, dates, couple, couples, bad date, bad dates, marriage, marriages, married life, restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, k.o., ko, knockout, out cold, unconscious, knocked out, tip, tips, rescued, rescuer, rescuer, rescuing, helpful
"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, couple, couples, dating, date, dates, marriage, marriages, married life, love, subconscious, conscious, unconscious, excuse, excuses, breakup, breakups, breaking up, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, divorce, divorces, divorcing, split, splits, splitting, separation, separations, separating, falling out of love
Before picking up a date, Doug always tested his breath on a canary that he kept in the car.
"That's what I love about New York—people leave you alone."
Tags:new york, ny, nyc, new york city, city, cities, urban, city living, city life, urban living, urban life, pedestrian, pedestrians, passer-by, passersby, good samaritan, good samaritans, emergency, emergencies, passed out, unconscious, medical emergency, medical emergencies, alone, selfish, self-centred, self-centered, unconcerned, uncaring, heartless, indifferent, unsolved, disinterested, uninterested, humanity, charity
'Wait ‘til you see the video I uploaded of you coming out of anesthesia. It's HILARIOUS!'
"It's just that your acts of kindness are so random."
"I'll be performing the operation, and this is the anesthesiologist."
Tags:medicine, medical, doctor, doctors, anaesthesiology, anaesthesiologist, anaesthesiologists, operation, operations, surgery, surgeries, unconscious, club, clubs, hit, knock out, knocked out, knock-out, knocked-out, put to sleep, patient, patients, prehistoric, cavemen, caveman, cave, caves, history, prehistory, ancient
Tags:freud, freudian slip, freudian slips, unconscious, unconscious thought, unconscious thoughts, slide, slides, sliding, slip, slips, slipping, secret, secrets, thought, thoughts, id, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, psychoanalysis, psychoanalyze, psychoanalyzes, psychoanalyzing, analyst, analyists, playground, playgrounds, play, plays, playing, recess
'How long have you been having these blackouts?'
"He was right, the Sky was falling."
'Dave, I dropped my lunch box. Could you please look for it? Dave ... '
'He's not much fun in the evenings -- he's solar powered.'
"He's doing great—he'll be back in a vegetative state in no time."
'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'
The conscious and unconscious are constantly at war with each other...
Tags:id, ego, superego, unconscious, unconscious mind, unconscious minds, fight, fights, tension, tensions, argument, arguments, argue, argues, arguing, war, wars, warring, mediate, mediates, mediating, mediator, mediators, difference, differences, irreconcilable differences, conflict resolution, conflict resolutions, conflict, conflicts, conflicting
"Beware of the Rack Rats"
Tags:pack rat, pack rats, steal, steals, stealing, thief, thieves, thieving, theft, thefts, rack rat, rack rats, fashion rack, fashion racks, fashionista, fashionistas, come around, comes around, coming around, knockout, knockouts, knock out, knock outs, knocked out, unconscious, opportunist, opportunists, opportunity
'You'll be awake during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the FDA.'
Fainting Goats Surprise Birthday Paties