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"I see by your resume that you've got a big problem with formatting."
"I want you to switch from alchemy and shape-shifting to job creation."
"This resume appears to cover only the last forty-five minutes."
"The new position not only comes with a bump in salary, but allows me to extend my reach into areas where I'm not qualified."
"I just don't feel cutout to be here."
"Impressive rap sheet. Any experience that didn't end in an arrest?"
"Bring in everything we've got on long division."
'As you know we like to give feedback to candidates on their interview.'
"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"
'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'
City Cemetary (Some college preferred)
Employment office: 'Which resume do you suggest I leave- the one where I'm overqualified, or the one that I'm underqualified?'
"My wife doesn't understand me. Just as I don't understand the rudimentary principles of banking."
"Sorry, but you need at least a Masters to get into the Deep Woods."
"But I don't want my constituents to vote for the most qualified candidate! I want them to vote for me!"
"All those years studying mayhem. All that postgraduate work in looting and pillaging; and here I am, rowing the friggin' boat."