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Day one, post grad
"Thankfully, college is preparing us for unemployment."
"My fellow graduates, today we leave behind the trappings of youth, step boldly onto the road of life, and move back in with our parents."
'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'
"I'm learning to read too."
'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'
The farm-raised catfish goes to college
'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'
Several of the med students had been cheerleaders when they were undergrads.
'We are pleased to honor the first graduates of this great university who have majored in the ever-growing field of trivia.'
'And remember, your success will be measured by how much you donate to the university's alumni fund.'
'You should be ashamed of yourself.'
Pre-graduate and post-graduate student.
"I can't believe that Derek got into university!"
"So I figure, as long as I stay a student then I can't repay my student loans."