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"Mom—listen to how much atmospheric pollution we produce just going to my soccer games."
Tags:carbon dioxide, co2, pollution, pollute, pollutes, carbon footprint, carbon footprints, travel, travelling, soccer, soccer games, football, football games, travels, drive, driving, drives, global warming, environmentalism, environmentalist, environmentalists, annoying, climate change, climate-change, children, child, kid, kids, environmental problems, sport, sports, unhelpful
"I know a guy who does amazing things with water."
Tags:doctor, doctors, treat, treatment, treating, treats, treated, examination, examine, examines, recommend, recommendation, gp, general practitioner, g.p., personal physician, suggest, suggesting, plastic surgery, profit, profiteering, unhelpful, fire, fires, hair, hairs, flaming, flames, redhead, redheads, absurd, ridiculous
"For People Who Enjoy Everything About Flying Except Being 30,000 Feet Up In The Air, There's The WIDE -BODY TRIAN!"
Tags:train, trains, plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, airliner, airliners, flight, flying, scared, transport, transportation, amenities, pointless, unhelpful, useless, pointless, unwanted, unneeded, travel, travels, travelling, comfort, comforts, experience, experiencing, experiences, experienecd, critical, critique, parody, parodies
Tipping the I.R.S.
Tags:tax, taxes, taxing, taxed, tax return, tax returns, internal revenue service, irs, i.r.s., hmrc, her majesty's revenue and customs, her majestys revenue and customs, hm revenue and customs, tax collecting, tax collector, tax man, taxman, service, tip, tips, tipping, hopeful, unhelpful, disliked, government, governments, money, monies, law, laws, return, returns, unusual, unlikely, bribe, bribes, bribery, corruption, corrupt
Skier looking at a sign with arrows pointing in different directions all reading "SNOW."
Tags:skier, skiers, skiing, ski, skis, sport, sports, winter, mountain, mountains, snow, direction, directions, lost, confused, sign, signs, signage, unhelpful, useless, obvious, route, routes, arrow, arrows, pointing, course, courses, path, paths, choice, choices, limited choices, decision, decisions, options, option, limited options
"I thought we could try some mindfulness exercises to make you less of a goddamn weirdo."
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, therapy session, therapy sessions, counselling, counselling session, counsellor, counsellors, exercise, exercises, exercised, exercising, mental health, unethical, weirdo, weirdos, ethics violation, malpractice, insult, insults, insulting, insulted, mindfulness, counterproductive, counterproductiveness, unhelpful, useless, mental health, emotional health
"I'll tell you how I got here - hours and hours of hard visualization."
Tags:boss, bosses, leader, leaders, advice, advising, adviser, visualise, visualize, visualizing, visualising, goal, goals, cliche, cliches, psychology, psychological, success, secret to success, self help, self-help, useless, useless, trick, tricks, hard work, hard working, psychologist, psychologist, life coach, life coaching, life-coach, life-coaching, unhelpful, visualize your goals, business, businessman, businesses, ceo, chief executive officer, chief executive officers, c.e.o., success, successful
"Please stay on the line. All of our customer-service representatives are kidding around and throwing paper airplanes at each other."
"We're encouraging people to become involved in their own rescue."
"We're doing everything we can, which is just hair and nails, unfortunately."
Tags:salon, salons, hair, hair salon, nail bar, nails, hair and nails, health issue, health issues, emergency, emergencies, health emergency, heart attack, heart attacks, help, helping, assist, assists, assisting, unhelpful, beauty, beauty salon, beautician, beauticians, hair dresser, hair dressers, emergency situation, paramedic, paramedics, assist, assistance
Tags:inuit, inuits, fridge, fridges, refrigerator, refrigerators, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists, salesperson, salesman, salesmen, dupe, fool, fools, fooling, fooled, global warming, climate crisis, kitchen appliance, useless, sale, sales, retail, retail store, retail stores, family, families, disagree, disagrees, disagreeing, disagreed, unhelpful
George Gershwin, Psychiatrist
Tags:therapy, therapies, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, shrink, shrinks, therapist, therapists, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, unhelpful, summertime, sam cook, song, songs, lyric, lyrics, reference, references, george gershwin, composer, composers, useless, counterproductive
Where are the jobs?
Tags:protest, protesting, demonstrate, demonstrating, march, marching, protests, demonstrates, duty, duties, job, jobs, employment, unemployment, unemployed, lazy, critical, lethargic, cavemen, caveman, cavemen, primitive, primitives, prehistoric, unhelpful, burden, burdens, recruitment, economy, economical, economics
"It's pronounced 'hee-la' monster. The 'g' sounds like an 'h.' "
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, animal, animals, lizard, lizards, reptile, reptiles, gila monster, gila monsters, language, languages, pronunciation, english, unhelpful, wasting time, biting, bite, emergency, emergencies
The Queen Meets Auto-Reply
Tags:evil queen, the evil queen, snow white, fairy tale, fairy tales.fairy story, fairy stories, mirror mirror, auto reply, auto-reply, auto response, predictive text, modern tech, modern technology, modern technologies, algorithm, the algorithm, unhelpful, useless, uselessness, bad technology, failed technology, automatic reply, text, texts, texting, messaging, messages, online messaging
Therapist falls asleep during session.
"I don't remember the name, but it had a taste that I liked."
Tags:wine, wines, wine lover, wine lovers, wine snob, wine snobs, connoisseur, connoisseurs, sommelier, sommeliers, alcohol, choose, chooses, choosing, unhelpful, help, helps, helpful, liquor store, liquor stores, wine store, wine stores, booze, employee, employees, customer, customers, nightmare customer, nightmare customers, taste, tastes, tasting, tastings, retail employee, retail employees, customer service, customer service rep, custom service representatives
Behind Closed Doors.
"Well, now that you have it, you can stop worrying about getting it."
Tags:doctor, doctors, consolation, unhelpful, medicine, medical, diagnose, diagnosis, worry, worries, patient, patients, worrying, contract, contracted, worried, not helpful, counterproductive, unprofessional, bad, bad medicine, worries, fear, fearful, fears, doctors office, prognosis, treatment, treatments
"If the plunger doesn't clear up the condition, bring in your drains and we'll have a look at them."
Tags:plumber, plumbers, plumbing, advice, giving advice, unprofessional, professionalism, lazy, laziness, layabout, layabouts, business man, business men, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, business people, self help, self-help, bad advice, impracticality, modern life, con man, con men, con, cons, unhelpful, unhelpfulness
"I just realized everyone I know is fake."
Tags:flamingo, flamingos, garden ornament, garden ornaments, fake flamingo, fake flamingos, friends, friend, fake, fake friends, fake friend, realise, realised, realisation, realising, realises, realized, realize, realization, realizing, realizes, social circle, unhelpful, society, authentic in a fake world, fake world, falseness in society
"Oh, not much...the usual nuttiness."
Tags:therapist, therapists, therapy, therapy session, therapy sessions, discuss, discussing, discussed, discusses, usual nuttiness, unethical practice, unethical, malpractice, doctor patient confidentiality, malpracticing, malpractices, over the phone, unhelpful, personal phone call, phone calls, chat, chats, chatting, chatted, gossip, gossips, gossiped, gossiping, counsellor, counsellors, counselling session, counselling sessions
Untested Egg Recipes.
"You're gonna take a left at the nondescript white wall, keep going till you pass a nondescript white wall, then head right when you hit a nondescript white wall. If you see a nondescript white wall, you've gone too far."
Desert island 'Help' cards
Tags:marooned, stranded, desert island, desert islands, lost at sea, help card, help cards, greetings card, greetings cards, brochures, brochure, holiday brochures, holiday brochures, tourist, tourists, tourism, consumerism, consumerist, consumer, consumer, modern life, modern attitudes, money making, money making scheme, castaway, castaways, abandoned, abandonment, excess information, unhelpful, unhelpful information, useless information, useless, false hope, let down