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"If the plunger doesn't clear up the condition, bring in your drains and we'll have a look at them."
'No, you probably won't find what you need and I'm not going to help you look for it!'
Politicians are 100% behind doctors
'I don't ever remember being as forgetful as I have been lately.'
"Can I put this on your bulletin board? The one in the hall is totally crazy."
"The police came to your door today. I told them you remind me of my own son who never calls, and for that matter might be a criminal."
'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'
'Do you want this fridge on the left or right side of the garage?'
"It's another recipe for fish."
Indirectory: You're way over there somewhere.
'I say officer, where's the nearest garage?'
If you, can read this, then it's too, late
'Have you seen the floor cloth anywhere?' - 'What colour is it?' - 'Green.' - 'No, I definitely haven't seen a green floor cloth.' - 'All I have is this turqoise dish cloth that I found under the fridge.'
How to avoid hurting your back.
'Sorry, he's not in today.'
'Well, you got yourself in there...'