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"I hate to be a downer, but, statistically, people are more likely to die of heart disease than by getting
No 1 in a series of unlikely events: "Social work is such a meaningful worthwhile work that I've decided to give up my lucrative law practise to join you!"
'Clever UFO camouflage - they know we won't report a flying pig.'
Things you seldom see: "She's absolutely right, these targets are complete nonsense. "I'll go and get the shredder."
Number 2 in a series of unlikely events: "There's more money in the budget than we know what to do with so you don't need to ask me every time you just need to spend a few hundred quid."
"Congratulations, your funding request for the field trip has been approved."
"I say, why don't we tear up all these targets and just let social workers get on with their jobs!"
'I've an idea, why don't we just tear up all these targets and let people get on with their jobs!'
'Someone applied for the job...'
'There's more money in the budget than we know what to do with so, you don't need to ask me every time you just need to spend a few hundred pounds...'
"If the president ever stops by for a visit, I'm going to serve him some of my famous flan."
'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'
"It turns out there's a lot more money in the budget than we thought, so you don't need to come to me every time you need a few hundred pounds."