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"Must you people always call during state dinners?"
"I don't mind the obscene phone calls. But I object to them reversing the charges."
"When they said I'll get unlimited calls and texts with my new mobile contract, I didn't realise they would all be from PPI insurance companies....."
'Yes, it's Joe Mongoose speaking, but I don't have time to take the survey now: I'm kind of in the middle of a fight to the death...'