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"I didn't call a masseuse but if one Happens by send her right in."
"My humour needs bringing up to date. Do you think the New School might have something?"
Tags:humour, humorous, humor, sense of humour, sense of humor, update, updates, updating, updated, educate, education, educating, educated, school, back to school, learn, learning, learned, learns, learnt, out of date, old fashioned, outdated, generation gap, generation gaps, age gap, age gaps, keeping up, keep up, keeps up, kept up
"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."
Tags:jail, jails, prison, prisons, incarceration, behind bars, imprisoned, imprisonment, penitentiary, penitentiaries, correctional facility, correctional facilities, prisoner, prisoners, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, criminal, criminals, visitation, visitor, visitors, television, televisions, television show, television shows, television program, television programs, television programmes, television programmes, tv, tvs, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, tv programmes, tv programmes, t.v., t.v.s, t.v. show, t.v. shows, t.v. program, t.v. programs, t.v. programme, t.v. programmes, british, update, updates, updating, keeping up, bad news, good news, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, drama, historical, spoiler, spoilers, plot, storyline, following
"I wasn't cable-ready."
"We know nothing. We'll be back in five minutes with nothing more."
Tags:24 hour news, news, breaking news, news coverage, news reporter, news reporters, news reporting, rolling news coverage, media failing, media failings, constant updates, update, updates, pointless update, pointless updates, information, lack of information, no information, televised news, tv news
'What'd I miss?'
Tags:fan, fans, fanatic, fanatics, miss, misses, missed, late, lateness, game, games, spectator, spectators, watch, watches, watched, watching, finis, finished, finishes, finishing, update, updates, updated, updating, fill in, fills in, filling in, filled in, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"I brought you an updated list of people to admire."
Tags:role model, role models, metoo, #metoo, idol, idols, hero, heroes, heroic, harasser, harassers, misogyny, misogynist, misogynists, too much coffee man, admire, admires, disappointment, disappointments, disappointing, set an example, sets an example, setting an example, update, updates, let down, let downs, admiration, parent, parents, parenting, inappropriate behavior, inappropriate behaviour, modern times, modern life
"Sorry sir, if you want fries with that, you'll have to upgrade to the Burger Deluxe 2.5.1."
Tags:burger, burgers, diner, diners, cafe, cafes, restaurant, restaurants, internet cafe, internet cafes, net cafe, net cafes, upgrade, upgrades, upgrading, upgraded, software upgrade, side, sides, fries, addition, additions, update, updates, updating, web, internet, web upgrade, software update, meal, meals, main, mains
'Twittering about the fact that you're twittering,seems to be a waste of time.'
'Man, I need to update my business.'
New, Improved Cat
Tags:cat lover, cat lovers, cat person, cat people, cat, cats, feline, felines, obedient, obedience, thoughtful, thoughtfulness, considerate, consideration, update, updates, updated, genetic engineer, genetic engineers, genetic engineering, genetic modification, genetically modified, improved, improvement, improvements
"Do you have anything newer and more useless?"
Tags:gadget, gadgets, gadgetry, technological advances, technological advancement, technological advancements, technical advancements, technical advances, electrical appliance, electrical appliances, shop, shops, geek, geeks, geeky, geekiness, phone, phones, phone shop, phone shops, update, updates, new model, new models
"Hold on though... 'to unlock the complete incantation... download potions pro?'"
Tags:witches, witch, cauldron, cauldrons, spell, spells, incantation, incantations, magic, alchemy, alchemists, potion, potions, magic potion, magic potions, magic spell, magic spells, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, smart device, smart devices, tablet, tablets, app, apps, applications, application, software, update, updates, os, os update, operating system, in app purchase, in app purchases, upgrade, upgrades, forced upgrade, forced upgrades, modern life, digital life, phone problems, smartphone problems
Planned Service Changes
Tags:trains, train, transport, transportation, finding yourself, university, universities, college, colleges, education, delays, delay, career change, career changes, resignation, resignations, gap years, gap year, sabbatical, time off, millennial, millennials, subway, updates, commute, commuter, commuters
"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."
'Doc, I keep boring people with every minute detail of my life! I'm afraid I might have a bad case of the Twitters!'
"Hi, this is Bill Gates. Time to buy some new software."
"You will never catch up with the new technology."
Tags:fortune teller, fortune tellers, clairvoyant, clairvoyants, clairvoyance, tasseography, tassology, tasseomancy, new technology, technology, old age, age gap, generation gap, generation gaps, gaps, gap, tea leaves, reading tea leaves, seer, seers, rapid change, rapid pace, constantly change, constantly updating, constantly changes, update, updates, updating, updated, bad news, future, near future, modern day problems, modern day problem, modern era, modern times
7 More Dwarfs
Follow stock trades of the rich & famous on Twitter.
Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.
"They've already had two upgrades while we've been standing in line."
Tags:upgrades, upgrade, retail, technology, mobile, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, cell phone, cell phones, constant change, quick update, quick updates, update, updates, updating, new model, new models, queue, queues, queueing, waiting, wait, waited, waits, shopping, catch up, catching up, keep up, keeping up, keeps up