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'Grandpa, what was the biggest upgrade you saw when you went to school?'
'The doctor doesn't like computers, he prefers to lose patients' records the old fashioned way.'
"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."
Tags:death, dead, burial, burials, memorial, memorials, funeral, funerals, burial service, burial services, memorial service, memorial services, funeral service, funeral services, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, tombstone, tombstones, gravestone, gravestones, headstone, headstones, grave, graves, marker, markers, mourner, mourners, mourning, grieving, bereaved, upgraded, upgrade, upgrades, first class, business class, travel, tourism, traveler, travelers, traveller, travellers, point, points, point card, point cards, heaven, after death, life after death, consumerism
"She went off the grid to write a book about being off the grid so she could come back to a better place on the grid."
Tags:grid, off the grid, go off the grid, going off the grid, writer, writers, author, authors, self-help, publish, publishes, publishing, hypocrite, hypocrites, hypocrisy, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, aspire, aspires, aspiring, upgrade, upgrades, upgrading, move up, moves up, moving up, famous
'It just seems like, ever since the system upgrade, nothing's where it should be.'
"I appreciate traditional values as well as the next man, Belknap, but you'll have to convert to battery power like the rest of us."
Tags:tradition, traditions, traditional, traditionally, tech, technological, advance, advancement, upgrade, upgrades, upgrading, traditional values, battery, batteries, battery power, mechanical, mechanised, mechanical man, automaton, automatons, modern, modernise, modernize, modernized, modernised, modernising, modernizing, modern world, modern life, outmoded, out moded, outdated, out dated, behind the times, business, businessmen, meeting, meetings
"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"
Tags:hell, hells, hell's, hell's angels, hells angels, gang, gangs, gangster, ghangsters, niche, niches, group, groups, motorcycle, motorcyclist, motorbike, motorbikes, biker, bikers, transportation, car, cars, decal, decals, upgrade, upgrades, flame, flames, aesthetic, zamboni, winter, winter sports, ice, ice rink, rink, hockey
'Man, I need to update my business.'
"Hold on though... 'to unlock the complete incantation... download potions pro?'"
Tags:witches, witch, cauldron, cauldrons, spell, spells, incantation, incantations, magic, alchemy, alchemists, potion, potions, magic potion, magic potions, magic spell, magic spells, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, smart device, smart devices, tablet, tablets, app, apps, applications, application, software, update, updates, os, os update, operating system, in app purchase, in app purchases, upgrade, upgrades, forced upgrade, forced upgrades, modern life, digital life, phone problems, smartphone problems
"Sir, you've been downgraded to the baggage compartment."
Tags:downgrade, downgraded, airline, airlines, plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, stewardess, stewardesses, steward, stewards, upgrade, upgrades, travel, travelling, traveled, economy, economies, vacation, vacations, commute, commutes, leisure, annoy, annoying, smoke, smoking, drinking, drinks, smoked, drunk, drunks, drunkard, worse, customer service
"Before we start, have you folks considered upgrading to Platinum Élite membership?"
Tags:fire, fires, fireman, firemen, firefighter, firefighters, member, membership, memberships, premium membership, premium memberships, premium member, premium members, upgrade, upgrades, upgrading, libertarian, libertarians, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, emergency, emergencies, emergency worker, emergency workers, 911, pushy, pushiness, salesman, salesperson, salespeople
'We're conducting experiments to dertermine which has a longer life, new phone technology, or a fruit fly.'
"Hi, this is Bill Gates. Time to buy some new software."
'Before the system upgrade we were going nowhere. Now we're going nowhere fast.'
"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"
'I aspire to bigger and better things!'
I can be upgraded can you?
"Any chance of an upgrade to a flight that's on time?"
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, flight, flights, flying, international flights, domestic flights, upgrade, upgrades, on time, late, always late, never on time, leaving late, departing late, arriving late, behind schedule, running late, running behind, check-in, check-in desk, check-in desks, check-in counter, check-in counters, unreliable
"So the answer to eternal happiness isn't an upgrade?"
'Ah-ha! I found the problem, dad.'
'Should we upgrade the levees or just go hydroponic?'
I think that may have been one software revision and unnecessary upgrade too many for him.
Computer Fashion Show
'Of course we'll upgrade you, sir. Our policy requires us to treat all customers with the dignity and respect they deserve...When pigs fly.'