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"On the other hand, it's not like I wake up every morning thinking, Omigod, I wish I had a giant wooden horse."
"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."
Tags:doctor, doctors, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, o.a.p., checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, outliving your usefulness, usefulness, useful, physician, physicians, geriatrics, geriatric medicine, life expectancy, life expectancies, long life, long-life
"Super! Now, once you've rebuilt civilization I can do the investment banking."
Tags:nuke, nukes, nuclear war, nuclear wars, fallout, post-apocalypse, use, useful, utility, usefulness, investor, investment banker, investment bankers, investment banking, stock, stocks, stockbroker, stockbrokers, stocks and bonds, rebuild, rebuilds, rebuilding, useless, superfluous, skill, skills, skilled labour, skilled labor, labor, labors, laborer, laborers, labourer, labourers, manual labor, egghead, eggheads
'I know moms can drive you crazy, but they can drive you lots of other places, too!'
'Your father's annoyed because migrants are more useful than he is.'
"I want bigger virgins."
"Stress is often associated with feelings of 'isolation'...It's really important that you see yourself as valued, as useful!"
Tags:manager, managers, management, managements, stress, stressed, stresses, stressful, stressfulness, employee, employees, employer, employers, useful, usefulness, workload, workloads, overwork, overworked, overworking, work load, work loads, office job, office jobs, desk job, desk jobs, working environment, working environments, work environment, work environments
More Useful Doomsayers
Tags:doomsayer, doomsayers, meter, meters, parking meter, parking meters, warn, warns, warning, warnings, parking ticket, parking tickets, ticket, tickets, ticketing, end of the world, apocalypse, apocalyptic, useful, usefulness, utility, park, parks, parking, street parking, doom sayer, doom sayers, protest, protests, protesting, protester, protesters, courtesy, courtesies
And then one day it happened: form, which always follows Function, crosses the line into outright stalking.
Tags:form, function, form follows function, stalk, stalking, stalker, stalks, harassment, harassments, harassing, criminal, criminal activity, privacy, invasion of privacy, engineer, engineering, axiom, axiomatic, design, designer, manufacture, manufacturing, product, product design, utility, useful, usefulness, obsess, obsessive, law, law and order, surveillance, spy, spying, furtive, furtively
"I'm afraid that kidney went to somebody who can write code."
Tags:utility, utilitarian, utilitarianism, kidney, transplant, transplants, waiting list, modern medicine, organ, organs, organ donation, donation, donations, organ donor, donor, donors, operate, operated, operation, operations, ill, illness, sick, sickness, computer science, priority, prioritise, prioritize, prioritised, prioritized, useful, usefulness, job, jobs, job market, capitalism, capitalist, merit, meritocracy, meritocratic, philosophy, hospital, hospitals, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, get well, get well soon, health, health insurance, insurance, money
Scarf puts hat back on.
Tags:wind, windy, windy day, windy days, blowy day, blowy days, scarf, scarves, helpful, helpfulness, useful, usefulness, hat, hats, hat blowing off, hat blown off, commute, the commute, commuting, commuter, commuters, walk to work, walking to work, visual gag, visual gags, visual joke, visual jokes, mens fashion, mens fashions, men's fashion, men's fashions, bad weather
"Sometimes I wish I could clone myself."
"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."
Tags:trojan, trojans, troy, helen of troy, ancient, ancient greeks, ancient, ancient greece, shop, shopping, shopped, decision, decisions, appliance, appliances, blender, blenders, interior, product, products, useful, usefulness, ornament, ornaments, consumer, consumers, trojan horse, trojan horses, historical
"This isn't just an English degree. There are valuable coupons on the back!"
'So he finally died then.'
"If you sleep walk again tonight, make yourself useful, and take the dog with you."
'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'
"Shredder broken again?"
'Glad you're back, Jenkins, and making yourself useful.'
'Chickens are very useful animals. You can eat them before and after they are born.'
800,000 BC: Yoog invents pockets!
'I'm sorry, but you've outgrown this cartoon panel!'
'I'm sorry, dear, but you've been made redundant.'
Wall mountable TVs.
Swiss Army Briefcase.