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"Maybe yes. Maybe no."
Tags:executive, executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, business manager, business managers, boss, bosses, decision, decisions, decision maker, decision makers, big decision, big decisions, indecisive, indecisiveness, incompetent, incompetence, useless, uselessness, unreliable, unreliability
"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."
"Fellow M.B.A. graduates of the Class of '91—hey, what can I say?"
Tags:mba, mbas, m.b.a., m.b.a.s, business masters, masters in business administration, graduate, graduates, graduation, graduating, graduation ceremony, graduation ceremonies, depression, depressed, depressing, useless, useless degree, useless degrees, recession, recessions, crash, crashes, market crash, market crashes
"Do you know anything that reflects the current job market?"
Tags:violin, violins, violinist, violinists, job market, current job market, interview, interviews, interviewer, interviewers, unemployed, unemployment, talent, talents, skill, skills, recruit, recruits, recruiting, recruitment, recruitment agency, recruitment agencies, useless, uselessness, extra curricular, extra-curricular, musician, musicians
"I don't know what's wrong, but, if you open and close the hood like this, it looks like your car is talking."
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobile, garage, garages, workshop, workshops, repair, repairs, mechanic, mechanics, auto mechanic, auto mechanics, car mechanic, car mechanics, motor mechanic, motor mechanics, automotive technician, automotive technicians, technician, technicians, talking car, talking cars, hood, hoods, car hood, car hoods, bonnet, bonnets, car bonnet, car bonnets, open and close, wrong, problem, problems, bad mechanic, bad mechanics, bad service, bad customer service, useless
Skier looking at a sign with arrows pointing in different directions all reading "SNOW."
Tags:skier, skiers, skiing, ski, skis, sport, sports, winter, mountain, mountains, snow, direction, directions, lost, confused, sign, signs, signage, unhelpful, useless, obvious, route, routes, arrow, arrows, pointing, course, courses, path, paths, choice, choices, limited choices, decision, decisions, options, option, limited options
"For People Who Enjoy Everything About Flying Except Being 30,000 Feet Up In The Air, There's The WIDE -BODY TRIAN!"
Tags:train, trains, plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, airliner, airliners, flight, flying, scared, transport, transportation, amenities, pointless, unhelpful, useless, pointless, unwanted, unneeded, travel, travels, travelling, comfort, comforts, experience, experiencing, experiences, experienecd, critical, critique, parody, parodies
"Why does it always have to represent something?"
Tags:meeting, meetings, presentation, presentations, boardroom, boardrooms, meeting room, meeting rooms, business, businessmen, businessman, businesswoman, businesswomen, presenter, presenters, chart, charts, graph, graphs, statistics, numbers, line, lines, pointless, useless, meaningless, art, modern art, abstract, artistic, represent, representation, representative, office, offices, office life, executive, executives
Public School: K - Death
Tags:public school, public schools, public schools, state-funded, state funding, school, schools, elementary school, elementary schools, middle school, middle schools, high school, high schools, state school, state schools, educated, uneducated, bad school, bad schools, set for life, set up for life, setting up for life, prepare, prepares, preparing, preparation, preparations, inadequate, inadequacy, useless, worthless, voucher, vouchers, voucher program, voucher programs, school voucher, school vouchers
"This job is going nowhere."
Tags:job, jobs, career, careers, promotion, promotions, worker, workers, employee, employees, work, office, offices, office life, office job, office jobs, business, businessman, businessmen, dead end job, dead end jobs, dead-end job, dead-end jobs, dead end career, dead end careers, dead-end career, dead-end careers, pointless, useless, vulture, vultures, dying, almost dead
"I'll tell you how I got here - hours and hours of hard visualization."
Tags:boss, bosses, leader, leaders, advice, advising, adviser, visualise, visualize, visualizing, visualising, goal, goals, cliche, cliches, psychology, psychological, success, secret to success, self help, self-help, useless, useless, trick, tricks, hard work, hard working, psychologist, psychologist, life coach, life coaching, life-coach, life-coaching, unhelpful, visualize your goals, business, businessman, businesses, ceo, chief executive officer, chief executive officers, c.e.o., success, successful
'You mean to tell me there are no fire exits?!'
Tags:hell, devil, devils, satan, satanist, satanists, fire, burn, burns, burning, fire exit, fire exits, escape, escapes, escape route, escape routes, safe, safety, health and safety, fire marshal, fire marshals, unsafe, pointless, useless, dangerous, danger, lucifer, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"I want to travel the world, bringing home ugly little trinkets."
Tags:travel, traveling, traveler, travelers, travelling, traveller, travellers, tourism, tourist, tourists, world traveller, world travellers, world traveler, world travelers, international, world, abroad, foreign, trip, trips, souvenir, souvenirs, gift shop, gift shops, trinket, trinkets, tchotchkes, junk, ugly, useless, shopping, shopper, shoppers, tchotchke, tourist, tourists, tourism, ugly american, ambition, ambitions, ambitious, bigot, bigots, consumerism, consumerist
"We could always regift it."
"Lives in the basement and has yet to bring home a dime."
Tags:basement, basement dweller, basement dweller, live at home, living at home, lives at home, superhero, superheroes, parent, parents, parents' house, parents house, useless, worthless, non-contributor, non-contributors, non-contributing, loser, losers, millennial, millennials, generation, generations, generation gap, generation gaps, appearance, appearances, facade, facades, faker, fakers, faking, impressive, all show, comic, comics, comic book, comic books
'...You've got no game.'
Tags:blood test, blood tests, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeries, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, diagnose, diagnoses, diagnosis, conclusion, conclusions, conclude, concludes, biopsy, biopsies, test, tests, testing, examine, examines, examined, no game, useless, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
It's the thought that counts: Totally useless gifts.
"My God, do you realize the year's half over?"
Tags:cat, cats, cat owner, cat owners, pet cat, pet cats, cat lover, cat lovers, lazy, laziness, layabout, layabouts, lazy cat, lazy cats, existential crisis, new perspective, new perspectives, regret, regrets, wasting time, waste of time, useless, uselessness, pointless, pointlessness, mid year, mid-year, july, summer
"Driftwood, deadwood—what the hell's the difference?"
Tags:boss, bosses, employee, employees, executive, executives, manager, managers, business executive, business executives, business manager, business managers, driftwood, drift wood, deadwood, dead wood, dead weight, deadweight, lazy, laziness, management, fired, firing, fire, sack, sacking, getting fired, sacked getting the sack, pink slip, pink slips, laid off, laid-off, laying off, canned, getting canned, useless, uselessness, unproductive, unproductiveness, incompetent, incompetence, ineffectual
Phil blows his interview before even sitting down.
'Now this time, just for the heck of it, try releasing that sucker a little sooner,'
Tags:athlete, athletes, athletics, javelin, javelins, throw, throws, throwing, thrower, throwers, coach, coaches, coached, coaching, improve, improves, improvement, improvements, suggest, suggests, suggestion, suggestions, suggested, rubbish, useless, distance, distances, release, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Unfortunately, your insurance only allows for treatment by doctors who scored 68 or less on their medical boards.'
Six people walk one dog.
Tags:incompetent, incompetence, dog walker, dog walkers, dog walking, inefficient, inefficiency, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, redundant, redundancy, useless, uselessness, too many cooks, waste of energy, wastes of energy, dog, dogs, canine, canines, pooch, pooches, look after, looked after, leash, leashes, lead, leads
George Gershwin, Psychiatrist
Tags:therapy, therapies, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, shrink, shrinks, therapist, therapists, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, unhelpful, summertime, sam cook, song, songs, lyric, lyrics, reference, references, george gershwin, composer, composers, useless, counterproductive
"On the other hand, it's not like I wake up every morning thinking, Omigod, I wish I had a giant wooden horse."