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'Relax. This swine flu vaccine has minimal side effects.'
'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'
"This will buy you four months.
Tags:doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, drugs, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner
'The medical reimbursement system is sick and there is no race for the cure.'
To ensure that all of their citizens are protected against the flu, officials in Syracuse released 100,000 flu-inoculating bees.
'I picked up this little trick on my holiday to New Guinea.'
'Interesting... From the way you describe it, it's almost as though the flu has... 'gone viral,' per se.'
Flu pandemic precautions
'What I really hate is preventive medicine. The go after us before we even do anything.'
Nurse has painted target of patient's butt.
'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'
'The bank won't give us a loan for a new roof because we both had a vaccination for shingles.'
"I'm going to let you off with a worming."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, policeman, policemen, traffic cop, traffic cops, state trooper, state troopers, pulled over, traffic stop, traffic stops, let off, warning, warnings, worming, deworming, vaccination, vaccinations, vaccine, vaccines, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, animal doctor, animal doctors, wordplay, word play, transportation, driver, drivers, driving
'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'
'All we have to do is place them on the waiting room chairs!'
'Do you ever feel we're having too many inoculations forced on us?'
"If you connect the measles, it spells out 'My parents are idiots.'"
Tags:measles, childhood illness, childhood illnesses, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, irresponsible, irresponsibility, mislead, misleading, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, anti vaxxer, anti vaxxers, anti-vaxxer, anti-vaxxers, the anti-vaxxer movements, misinformed, misinformation, superstitious, superstition, superstitions, mistakes, mistake, mistaken, immune, immunisation, immunisations, mmr, mmr vaccine, mmr vaccines, idiots, idiot, idiocy, bad decision, bad decisions, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theories
'Let's all practice bug control.'
Relax compadres. They don't call it the swine flu no more!
'You want the chili? - Have you had all your shots?'
"Now just relax....I promise this won't hurt....either of you!"
'Dysentery or non-dysentery section?'
"No need to be nervous, now let me find the instructions for this thing."
'What do you mean they all have swine flu?'
"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."