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'You know when I was a kid, I really thought we'd have flying robot maids by now.'
Cowboys and Vacuums
"This is really embarrassing."
Tags:vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, hoover, hoovers, sweeper, sweeper, embarrassed, embarrassing, embarrass, trash, garbage, rubbish, dust, trash can, trash cans, garbage can, garbage cans, garbage bin, garbage bins, rubbish bin, rubbish bins, dust bin, dust bins, bin, bins, can, cans, eating, eating garbage, eating rubbish, eating trash, caught, caught red-handed, night, nighttime, middle of the night, pet, pets, hungry, starving
'Strange -- I always thought that thunder sounded like the angels were bowling.'
Tags:storm, storms, stormy, angel, angels, heaven, heavens, cloud, clouds, vacuum, vacuums, vacuuming, vacuumed, hoover, hoovers, hoovered, hoovering, thunder, thunders, boom, booms, booming, boomed, wrong, assume, assumes, assumed, assuming, assumption, assumptions, afterlife, bowling, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"The doctors said, 'We can rebuild your husband. Faster. Stronger.' But then I thought, 'Hold on just a second...'"
Tags:vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, vacuuming, cleaning, clean, cleans, housework, chore, chores, household labor, household labour, relationship, relationships, husband, husbands, wife, wives, couple, couples, cyborg, cyborgs, robot, robots, medical, medical procedures, medical procedure, rebuild, rebuilt
"They don't call it 'The Boulevard of Broken Dreams' for nothing, kid."
"Please continue. I'm all - briefcase! - ears."
"He's the domesticated kind of werewolf."
"Of course, if you don't want to buy the vacuum cleaner, there's always the other option."
Tags:grim, grims, grim reaper, grim reapers, reaper, reapers, angel of death, embodiment of death, vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, cleaner, cleaners, salesmen, salesman, salespeople, salesperson, sales, mythical figure, mythical figures, sales pitch, sales pitches, sales strategy, sales strategies
"Lift your stems."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, cleaning, housecleaning, housework, chore, chores, vacuum, vacuuming, vacuums, move, feet, lift, stem, stems, root, roots, plant, plants, planting, couch potato, couch potatoes, insult, insults, planted, rooted, chair, chairs, armchair, armchairs, not moving
Chet Blows Another Sale.
He became suspicious after noticing the crime scene had been tidied up.
"I just do the little things that don't show up in the box score."
Tags:boston, new york, baseball, baseballs, baseball player, baseball players, sport, sports, professional athlete, professional athletes, athlete, athletes, athletic, athletics, benchwarmer, benchwarmers, vacuum, vacuums, hoover, hoovers, hoovering, hoovered, vacuuming, vacuumed, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners
"Her last wishes were that her ashes not leave a mess."
Tags:funeral, funerals, cremation, cremations, crematorium, cremate, crematoriums, cremates, death, deaths, wishes, wish, last wish, last wishes, final, final wish, final wishes, ash, ashes, remain, remains, clean, cleans, cleaner, cleaning, tidy, tidies, mess, messy, vacuum cleaner, vacuum, hoover, vacuum cleaners, vacuums, messed, odd, unusual, end, passing
"I have a feeling they are going to treat us like dirt."
Tags:vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, alien, aliens, martian, martians, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrials, little green man, little green men, alien invasion, alien invasions, alien spaceship, alien spaceships, alien abduction, alien addictions, ufo, ufos, unidentified flying object, unidentified flying objects, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theories, conspiracy theorist, conspiracy theorists, dirt, bad treatement
"Dammit, Johnson! Delegate!"
Tags:vacuum, vacuums, vacuuming, cleaning, cleaner, cleaners, cosmonaut, cosmonauts, astronaut, astronauts, moon, lunar mission, moon mission, moon missions, lunar mission, space travel, space exploration, space travels, cleaning job, cleaning jobs, chore, chores, household chore, household chores, housework
A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, diner, diners, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, counter, counters, grill, grills, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, cooking, short-order cook, short-order cooks, grilling, vent, vents, fan, fans, ventilator, ventilators, chimney, chimneys, duct, ducts, exhaust, exhausts, system, systems, turn on, turning out, sucked up, vacuumed, vacuum, vacuums, suction, amateur, amateurs, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, strong
'May I play through please?'
"OK, let's go over your sales pitch one more time."
Finally! The First Vacuum Cleaner That's Always Fun (to put away).
Roger Federer's Tips for Vacuuming
'You're the new cleaner, aren't you?.'
"Everybody, this is Mr. Bryce—Mr. Bryce is a salesman."
Tags:party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, introducing, introductions, salesman, salesmen, sales, vacuum, vacuums, vacuum cleaner, vacuum cleaners, hoover, hoovers, door-to-door sales, door-to-door salesman, door-to-door salesmen, door to door sales, door to door salesman, door to door salesmen, leisure, business, businessmen, businessman