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'Shocked? You should be! After all those years of toil and loyal sacrifice, that's your net worth! Wake up, Fido! On Lesson Three, we'll offer tips on planning your financial future!'
'I would've preferred everything I touched turned to OIL.'
"We pay you 90% of what you are worth... and you give 110%... so we end up even at 100%. OK?"
'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'
Tags:baby, babies, born, birth, births, worth, worthless, depreciate, depreciation, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, value, values, valuation, valuations, valuing, cost, costs, costing, costings, price, prices, pricing, priced, after birth, newborn, newborns, new born, new borns, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'
'Today, the dollar rose against the coconut, the banana, and the guava.'
Five pound notes are made bigger to make people feel better.
'We should have spent it then.'
'The problem is you don't know the value of a clam shell.'
What are we... chopped liver!? Dating service.
'I always feel I could have taken credit for more.'
'Just because I have no ethics doesn't mean I don't appreciate those who do.'
'Gold by post - send us your gold and we'll send you what we think it's worth.' 'There's mugs in them thar hills.'
'The way it's going, booze will be cheaper than gasoline.'
'I stole it from the library.'
Antiques Roadshow or Bust!
'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'
'It's the auction house - your life didn't make it's reserve...'
'Isn't it terrible the way the pound has dropped in value?' 'just as well we don't have many of them!'
'Money and hair only seem important when you don't have any!'
"It's a wonderful example of what we in the trade call 'tat'..."
'We've approved a loan so your home will be more valuable once we foreclose on it.'
"I made the mistake of saying to my father that a dollar doesn't go as far as it did when he was a kid...they he started yelling - 'A dollar! I only got a dime when I was your age!'"