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"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"
"To be honest I thought it would be more intimidating..."
"Wait! First, his attorney."
'Oh yeah? Well if you're not a vampire, would you care to explain why you have no reflection?'
'''You forgot our wedding anniversary again. So I replaced you crucifix with a fly swat. Hahaha! Yours, Mrs Van Helsing.' What the...''
'Ha! Ha! Ha! Is this stake made of rain forest wood? The environmentalists will crucify you for using it, Van Helsing!'
Vampire shunning crucifix-in-a-can.
Crucifixes $5.00 each (crucifix vending machine next to approaching vampires)
'Vlad, I know it's not your fault that you don't have a reflection but...'
Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.
'We've got you, thanks to this cross that Bobby just drew.'
Pinocchio Vs. Dracula
'Robert Johannes Van Helsing, we have reason to believe you are in wilful breach of the 1882 Transylvanian Endangered Species Act.'
"There's a professor Van Helsing to see you"
JOB Centre "Have you considered shop work?"
'It's a Vapire.'
"Forget vampires! I'm worried about EBOLA!"