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"Oh, I just find vertical stripes more flattering for my figure."
"You know, the vertical stripes do make you look thinner!"
"The worst part is the horizontal stripes."
"I hate my stripes. They make me look fat."
Peel, master of illusion. - 'Hmmm... disappointingly rotund.' - 'Do you want honey on your toast?' - 'Sod off!' -
You're so lucky, my stripes make me look fat.
"Go with the horizontal stripes. It'll make me look thinner when I stand next to you."