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'He has no self-confidence. He has one writer working on a victory speech and four writers working on a concession speech.'
'I've just tried to set the bar as low as possible over the years.'
"What a wonderful concession speech - we should have voted for him after all."
"...and I'd like to thank my mother, who is a lesbian, for guiding me through a real tough gender-identity crisis."
'What a wonderful concession speech - we should have voted for him after all.'
'It's a pity you lost to the Tortoise Dad, you had written a great victory speech...'
Castaway of the Year