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A Brief History of Unwelcome Visitors To Britain
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Viking Loch Ness
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'His possessions were not important to him. Other people's possessions, however, meant a great deal to him.'
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"Yoiks! Come winter it's back to the Ikea factory!"
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"Infecting their computers with the Pillage&Plunder Virus just doesn't give the same satisfaction as actually doing it."
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"Oh, good! Maybe they brought some of those nice open faced sandwiches."
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The Happy Ship
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"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"
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"Pooper-scoopers!"
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Viking House
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"Uff da! We heard you have lutefisk."
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'Sure, they're invaders, but you have to agree: Those Vikings have great helmets!'
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'Just when you thought you had the beach to yourself.'
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'And make sure you leave things as they are.'
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"PILLAGE Erik! Rape and PILLAGE."
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"Deep down, I really believe the people of this country would've LOVED our brand of freedom and democracy. Too bad they didn't survive it."
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The network is running a little slow this morning.
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"Whose idea was it to pillage a zen garden?"
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"...and on line 14 you claim 42 arrows and a battle ax as pillaging expenses, but on line 50 you claim them again under arsenal depreciation."
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"Good news, folks! Your village is now eligible for our aid program. Just fill out these forms."
You've got mail.
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