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'You never take me anywhere.'
Tags:prison, prisons, prison guard, prison guards, prisoner, prisoners, jail, jails, gaol, gaols, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, felon, felons, criminal, criminals, jail visit, prison visits, visiting hour, visiting hours, wives, wife, marital problems, marital problems, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"The cat misses licking your hair."
Tags:cat person, cat people, cat, cats, pet, pets, pet cat, pet cats, cat owner, cat owners, cat behaviour, cat behavior, lick, licks, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, jail, jails, visiting hour, visiting hours, convict, convicts, criminal, criminals, home life, home-life, prison sentence, prison sentences
"How do I get an outside line?"
"I don't need good beach reading, Ma. I need good prison reading."
Tags:beach read, beach reads, beach reading, read, reads, reader, readers, reading, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, inmate, inmates, incarcerated, incarcerate, incarcerates, incarcerating, good read, good reads, book recommendation, book recommendations, recommend, recommends, visitor, visitors, visiting hour, visiting hours, inappropriate, literature, critic, critics, critique, critiques, reject, rejects, rejecting, rejection, rejections, unhelpful
'It's like caller ID. You get to see who's calling before you pick up.'
"It seems like only yesterday you were a juvenile offender."
Crash test dummy in hospital
'Don't worry about the workload. The boss upgraded the computer.'
"Someone to see you!"
"When are visiting hours?"
"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, x-ray, x ray, x rays, x-rays, visitors, medicine, visiting hour, visiting time, visiting times, hospital food, patient, patients, illnesses, broken bone, illness, recovery, bone scan, broken bones, car accident, accident, illness, health, dude, surfing, surf, surfer, surfers, beach, life's a beach
'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'
Angels visiting inmates of hell.
'You can visit your mum in Ward C from 2 am until 3, Ward D from 3 until 5 am then it'll be Ward C until 6 and the corridor after that...'
'Is my wife in there?'
"Psst ... I hid a file in the cake."
"I thought I'd never find you. Your coworkers only say you're away from your desk."
"Officer, wrong number."
"Says he can't afford the hospital's parking fees!"
'He had lots of visitors today. Mostly people he owes money to.'
"Of course I didn't tell you I was visiting, you were hardly likely to be out , were you."
'I'm glad you brought the grandkids, but they're sitting on my broken hip.'