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A resume for tattoo artists.
'Obviously, I know a lot of weasel words, so I would be great in a management role...'
'I broke up with him: It turns out he'd bought his 'Best in Show' ribbons on the internet...'
'I want to be the first mountain goat to sail the seven seas...'
'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'