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'DO you remember when volunteering was just about trying to help people?'
'We want communities to 'own' the big societies...we want you to feel it belongs to you...'
'They're extinct now but when I was young you'd find these everywhere...let's go to the next gallery they've got a 'bobby on the bear' and a 'postman' there.'
"We're going to have to be very careful deciding which parts of the voluntary sector to fund."
'Ask NOT what your country can do you...but what gender neutral policy initiatives can be put up for discussion and negotiation within a framework of ZERO fiscal resource allocation...'
'We looked at a variety of options for allocating money to the Voluntary Agency...and letting them fight it out was by FAR the cheapest...'
'Apparently we're to use the budget that's been cut to encourage the volunteers we haven't got because they've been put on schemes to fill in for services that no longer exist!'
'It's all part of that 'Devolving Power'...'Big Society' thing...I got the nuclear attack codes and Bill down at the Rotary got Civil Defence.'
'Er!...Any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'
'I'm not sure that the 'Big Society' idea works with the Ministry of Defence.'
'There's plenty of scope for cuts in the voluntary sector...you just have to follow our example and cut out the fat.'
The Death of the Big Society: 'Oh! News of our death is exaggerated...lots of life in the old dog yet...big ideas about doing stuff, all kinds of stuff!'
'Now obviously we won't be paying you but would you accept a number of meaningless protestations of gratitude and a variety of shallow platitudes suggesting our appreciation instead.'
'The Big Society is Nothing to do with replacing a reduced voluntary sector...now try that again, without laughing.'
'If we're to sort out this mess and get the banks back into profit then we All have to make sacrifices...and you're ours!'
Big Society: 'Why have you called the new post 'unpaid community resource development and support worker?'
'Things ARE bad. I've just been made redundant from my voluntary job.'