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'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'
'There's a fifteen minute wait for people we like, and a forty five minute wait for people like you.'
'I'll have the steak.' (Fish in tank start jumping for joy).
'I didn't say your meal wouldn't contain fat. I said the fat would be free.'
'Your resume says that you were previously a waiter. Can I assume that you're comfortable taking orders?'
Fish squirts man who chose it as his meal.
'Choose your own waiter' at a restaurant.
'My name is Flint, and I'm your waiter tonight, and I don't suffer fools gladly.'
'No more wine for me thanks Dan. That first glass went straight to my head.'
'Well I can assure you sir, the fish was fresh when the menu was printed last tuesday.'
'Water? Still? Sparkling? Mountain? Hill? Bottle? Tap? Warm? Cold? Ice? Lemon?'
'Well, if you're in such a hurry, why did you order snails?'
"Ambiance or non-ambiance section?"
'Really, Graham! Sometimes you are such an embarrasment!'
Despot with that pot.
'That's our entry-level menu.'
'Here's the game plan...go tell the cook he fumbled on the catch of the day.'
'How's the chilli today?'; 'Much better than yesterday - I think it had a good night's sleep.'
An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'
Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.
'Well, what did you expect? We're Dung Beetles, remember?!'
'Your starter, sir.'
Drunk young man drinking from a wine pump.
'WIll that be with or without methane, sir?'
'The good news is that he won't be able to sit down for a week!'