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'Sure, we called for a second opinion. That was six months ago.'
'I've had to book my appointment two weeks in advance, so we'll both sit here until I feel unwell.'
'It's a postcard from your doctor. He says he'll be right with you.'
Thank you for suffering in silence.
'He decided to celebrate meeting his QOF targets by doing a cartwheel...wrecked his knee and has to wait 26 weeks to see a consultant.'
'We're running a bit behind, so I'm going to take whichever of you screams in agony the loudest.'
Telephone consultations worked but maybe TEXT consultations were a step too far...Does anyone recognise 'fngx stre pink' as a symptom?.
'Sorry, I'm a doctor. If you want that looked at, you'll have to make an appointment like everyone else.'
'I'm not a visitor - just next in line for that bed when you've done with it.'
'I hate that Michael Rafferty. We were playing doctor and he kept me waiting two hours.'
'I read all the magazines I then paper mached your likeness and repeatedly stabbed you.'
Better ask the doctor. I'm just in here because the waiting room's too full.
"Guidance from the DOH on how to see paitents more quickly..."
Waiting In Doctor's Office
"The redesign has made the waiting room a much more tranquil place..."
'Yes, I fasted for the blood test, if you count the four hours in the waiting room.'
'The doctor's busy. Can you come back when you're better?'
"I've got you on the waiting list, but I think it's for a Birkin bag."
Tags:waiting list, waiting lists, organ, organs, organ donor, organ donors, organ donation, birkin bag, handbag, handbags, purse, purses, designer label, designer labels, expensive, organ transplant, organ transplants, transplant, transplants, liver, new liver, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, error, errors, filing error, filing errors, paperwork, paperwork error, luxury brand, luxury brands
'Your watch is fine. We set our clocks back an hour just to make you wait.'
"Slight misunderstanding...the 2000 isn't the target...it's the years it might take to reach the target!"
'What's wrong with you this time?' - 'I'm suffering from depression.' - 'Same ol', same ol'...' - 'I'd recommend seeing a therapist.' - 'Okay.' - 'The NHS waiting list is over a year, sadly...' - 'Oh.' - '...or you could see a private therapist immediatel
"We're not accepting applications right now, but we'll give you a call the minute one of our members drowns."
Tags:swimming, swim, swimmer, swimmers, swimming club, swimming clubs, exclusive, exclusive clubs, club, clubs, competitive swimming, competitive swimmer, bad swimmer, bad swimmers, closed club, waiting list, waiting lists, drown, drowning, drowned, swimming pool, pool, pools, hobby, hobbies, dangerous hobbies, dangerous hobby, extreme sport, extreme sports, membership, members only
'That Doctor has a lot of nerve...I've waited six weeks for this appointment and he says, 'you're lucky we caught it in time'.'
"You've heard of the 'drugs tsar' and the 'fat tsar'...well this is the new 'waiting room' tsar!"
Old woman with headphones on her ear trumpet.