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"Would you prefer me to hover over you silently or awkwardly try to make small talk?"
Dance of the Inconsistent Water Temperature
"Lady, what's going on down there is an affront to the very idea of boilers."
Jake became very suspicious when his wife insisted on a new water heater for the bath.
'Why can't you guys be more like the hot water heater, who may pay for itself in two years.'
"A yearbook is something you will always treasure."