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'Would YOU polish your shoes to such a high shine if you were planning suicide, Inspector?'
'In a surprise move, the U.S. sent weapons inspectors to Santa's North Pole workshop...'
Saddam: 'See? We accept UN weapon inspectors! Ask him if he found anything!' (Captions may be modified.)
Saddam Hussein's advisers suggest a softer approach.
Saddam is bad at Maths.
'Mr. Annan? I know a guy I would accept as a weapons inspector!'
'Sorry - there's no one available. Since the enquiry started they've all been in a complete spin...'
"'Well, you're out for a start..."
"My inspection has shown that the war head isn't on tightly enough. The engineering team are on to it."
"There's U.N. Weapons Inspectors at the door. They need to see your meatloaf."