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"Funny – just the other day the queen asked for a similar poison."
"You're the one who should be 'Time's' man of the year."
'It's a bit of a long shot, but it might just work.'
'We are gathered here to join the couple in matrimony. Possible side effects include depression, migraine, chronic fatigue...'
"Leave those�.Kevin'll do the washing up."
"They're little notes he keeps leaving me on how to best utilise my housekeeping time."
Tags:housekeeping, housekeeper, housekeepers, chore, chores, domestics, cleaning, dusting, sweeping, shopping, washing, laundry, ironing, cooking, womans work, housework, bonfire, notes, rubbish, incinerator, fire, memos, advice, efficiency, husband, wedded bliss, housewife, housewives, efficiency, bossy, bossiness, efficiency expert, efficiency consultant
'It was a beautiful wedding. It almost made me happy to be married.'
"Take your mother for example. She's not much to look at, but she's darn handy with the cookware."
Tags:wedded bliss, married life, married couole, husband, husbands, wife, wives, domestic, domestics, marital spat, marital spats, marriage spat, marriage spats, cookware, cookwares, cooking skill, cooking skills, cook, cooks, chef, chefs, mariticide, mariticides, homicide, homicides, chauvinist, chauvinists, chauvinism, divorce, divorces, frying pan, frying pans, sexist, sexists, sexism, attitude, attitudes
'He still has that 'new husband smell'.'
'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'
'So how was the Honeymoon?'
'When I get married, I'm not going to be in the wedding.'
'The secret to peaceful, wedded bliss, son, is TWO TV sets!'
'Oh there you are!'
Clickety Clack! Clickety Clack!
'I told you your friends hate me.'
'You put the kettle on and I'll re-arrange the furniture!'
'Apparently she spotted it in an antique shop and fell in love with it.'
'His 'get-up-and-go' got up and went ages ago'
"I keep a picture of my family in my wallet - where my money used to be."
"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."
'But you loved this suit before we were married!'