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Thinning the herd.
Tags:deer, herd, hers, thin, thins, thinning, thinned, weight loss, weight losses, lose weight, loses weight, obese, obesity, exercise, exercise, exercising, exercised, fit, fits, fitness, aerobic, aerobics, stretch, stretches, stretching, stretched, cull, culls, culling, culled, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'I'm part of a double-blind study to see how weight loss supplements help people lose weight. I'm guessing I received the sugar pill placebos.'
'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'
'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'
'In the last 26 years, I've lost 2143 pounds. Unfortunately, in the same period I've gained 2187 pounds!'
'Sure I eat three desserts but each trip I put only one dessert on my plate. That way I walk off the calories.'
'Curses on historical perspective.'
'Oops. I just lost my sense of humor.'
'From the neck up, I worry about credit card debt. From the neck down I worry about fat debt.'
'for all the time men spend looking at women's bodies, they know absolutely nothing about them.'
Another session of the lunch-hour scientists...
'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'
Personal Calorie Counter
Tags:calories, calorie, calorie control, calorie controlled, diet, diets, dieting, weight loss, weight losses, calorie counter, calorie counters, calorie counting, nag, nags, nagging, scold, scolds, scolding, scolded, wife, wives, sandwich, sandwiches, hoagie, hoagies, killjoy, killjoys, spoil, spoils, spoiled, spoilt, spoiling, meal, meals, lunch, lunches
'Your fitness program really should include more exercise than just pushing yourself away from the table...'
'Honestly, Larry - you need to lose some weight.'
Tags:obese, obesity, fat, fats, fatness, lose weight, loses weight, losing weight, lost weight, weight loss, weight losses, cloud, clouds, angel, angels, advice, advise, advises, advising, sink, sinks, sinking, sank, fall, falls, falling, fell, honest, honesty, heavy, heaviness, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Appetite suppressants? Uh... yeah... they're back in... uh... aisle nine.'
'I have to start a diet. I used to wear a size medium but now I was told I need a larger size. However, I think I can still fit into an extra medium size.'
"I'm after something three sizes too big that makes me look like I've lost weight.
Tags:weight loss, weight losses, illusion, illusions, extra large, large size, large sizes, large size clothing, lost weight, obese, obesity, clothing, women's clothing, womens clothing, too big, fit, fits, fitting, fitting room, fitting rooms, changing room, changing rooms, request, requests, requesting
'I've tried that. It works.'
'I can't eat because I'm on a diet, I can't drink because of my ulcer and I can't be merry because I'm a grouch.'
'Go ahead and have another candy bar. Adults say they want us to lose weight, but they're always trying to hide behind us. This will make it easier for them.'
'You don't weigh enough to qualify for our program. Go home and put on a few extra pounds.'
'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'
KEEP BACK...This is double choc chip it could come open ANYTIME...Tip No 156 Always wear protective clothing when handling dangerous foodstuffs.
'Oh no, it's not a new diet - I've been Photoshopped.'