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"Everything I eat goes straight to my ass."
"Have you seen Martha lately? She's lost so much blubber on her new diet, she looks like an oceaned human.:
"Are you telling the court that because of the South Beach diet your pants fell down?"
Tags:flasher, flashers, flashing, diet, diets, weight loss, weight-loss, losing weight, weight problem, weight problems, south beach diet, healthy eating, healthy diet, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, defendant, defendants, legal defense, legal defenses, legal defence, legal defences, lawyer, lawyers, witness testimony, witness testimonies, trial, trials
"Did you hear - we're being transferred from bomb-sniffing to trans fats."
Tags:trans fat, transfat, trans-fat, obesity epidemic, fat epidemic, obesity, weight problem, weight problems, unhealthy lifestyle, bomb-sniffing, sniffer dog, sniffer dogs, canine, canines, canine unit, canine units, police dog, police dogs, k9 unit, k9 units, job transfer, job transfers, dog unit, dog units, detection dog, detection dogs
"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."
"I start every diet with the best intentions, but it goes to hell as soon as I sense blood in the water."
Tags:diet, diets, dieter, dieters, weight loss, weight-loss, losing weight, weight problem, instinct, instincts, instinctive, primal instinct, primal instincts, blood, shark, sharks, predator, predators, prey, preys, food chain, food-chain, diet plan, diet plans, good intention, good intentions, best intention, best intentions
"All these years, and you haven't listened to a damn thing I've said, have you?"
Tags:obese, obesity, weight problem, weight problems, fat, fatness, weight issue, weight issues, fat epidemic, fat problem, fat problem, obesity problem, fat, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctor, doctors, medical advice, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, check-up, check-ups, physical, physicals
"Maybe you should worry less about kryptonite and more about office doughnuts."
Tags:snack, snacks, junk food, junk foods, doughnut, doughnuts, donut, dognuts, superhero, superheroes, super hero, super heroes, super-hero, super-heroes, dress sense, super power, super powers, belly, bellies, cake, cakes, junk food, junk foods, fast food, fast foods, weight gain, weight problem, weight problems, obesity problem, gut, guts, achilles' heel
"The Emperor is naked - and he has a flabby butt!"
Tags:body shaming, the emperor's new clothes, the emperors new clothes, public nakedness, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, children's story, children's stories, hans christian andersen, pretense, pretenses, weight problem, weight problems, fat problem, fat problems
Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction
Tags:diet, diets, dieter, dieters, dieting, diet plan, diet plans, fad diet, fad diets, weight loss, weight-loss, losing weight, weight problem, weight problems, bookshop, bookshops, book shop, book shops, bookstore, bookstores, book store, book stores, non-fiction, fiction, dietitian, dietitians, nutritionist, nutritionists
"He's a heavyweight, but he'd prefer to leave it at that."
Tags:insecure, insecurity, insecurities, heavyweight, boxer, boxers, boxing, pugilism, weight problem, weight problems, overweight, fat, fatness, obese, obesity, sore point, sore points, weight class, weight classes, diet, diet, dieting, slim down, slimming down, rude, unmentionable, impolite, body insecurity, body insecurities
All You Can Eat Until Everyone In This Country Is Obese.
"I love cheeseburgers more than I hate being fat."
Tags:food, eating, dining, meal, meals, burger, burgers, hamburger, hamburgers, cheeseburger, cheeseburgers, fat, weight, body weight, obese, obesity, obesity crisis, overweight, chubby, love, hate, foodie, foodies, health, fitness, unhealthy, eating habits, junk food, problem, problems, weight problem, addiction
'You must be skinnier than this to eat at buffet bar.'
"I'm putting you on a whatever-you-like-to-eat-don't diet."
Tags:diet, diets, dieter, dieters, dieting, weight loss, weight-loss, losing weight, weight problem, weight problems, obesity, obese, nutritionist, nutritionists, dietitian, dietitians, dietician, dieticians, fat, fatness, healthy lifestyle, unhealthy lifestyle, unhealthy lifestyles, diet plan, diet plans
'We may have to adjust the gastric band a little.'
"This is the latest craze - eat anything you want, anytime you want. It's called the San Andreas Plan."
"You came up in therapy this morning."
"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."
"I bought him some underwear that should help reduce drag."
"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"
Tags:diet, diets, dieter, dieters, dietitian, dietitians, nutritionist, nutritionists, weight loss, weight-loss, weight loss clinic, weight-loss clinic, weight-loss clinics, weight loss clinics, second opinion, second opinions, referral, referrals, obesity epidemic, fat epidemic, weight problem, weight problems
"The ultrasound say it's a keg of Bud Light."
"It seems that every time I get rid of those last stubborn ten pounds, those darn girl scouts come around with their cookies!"
"You've got to lose some weight!"
At The Skinny Customer Restaurant