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"I have no idea what gluten is, either, but I'm avoiding it, just to be safe."
'Help! I'm a coeliac get me out of here!'
'I stand here before you with a heavy heart. There is a growing wheat intolerance in our land, and that makes my stomach turn...But get this! They say that's what we're doing to them!'
"It's nothing to be concerned about...a lot of people have issues with wheat products!"
'Loaves and fishes?! Haven't we anything for wheat intolerant vegans?!'
'No bread crumbs for me, thanks. I have allergies to wheat.'