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"You can have Burnett's old office and Burnett's old desk, but it's not right for you to have Burnett's old number."
Tags:replacement, replacements, retire, retires, retiring, layoff, layoffs, laid off, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, jersey, jerseys, football, sports, inherit, inherits, inheriting, inheritance, office, offices, white collar job, white collar jobs, athlete, athletes, retired number, retired numbers, legend, legends, all star, all stars, fire, fires, firing, firings, recession, legend, legends, legendary
A deadline comes to chew up a worker.
Tags:deadline, deadlines, stress, stresses, stressful, worker, workers, working, job, jobs, career, careers, conveyor belt, conveyor belts, under the gun, procrastinate, procrastinates, procrastinating, put off, putting off, gear, gears, cog, cogs, cog in a machine, cogs in a machine, cog in the machine, cogs in the machine, modern life, modern times, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, cubicle, cubicles, anxiety, anxieties, anxious, anxiousness, stress, stressor, stressors, cope, copes, coping
Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with
Tags:stress, stresses, job, jobs, inbox, inboxes, outbox, outboxes, in-box, in-boxes, out-box, out-boxes, paperwork, paper pusher, paper pushers, paper pushing, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, pressure, pressured, pressures, under pressure, work life, work, worker, work-life balance, work form, work forms, paperwork, sea of paperwork, seas of paperwork, drown, drowns, drowning
Back to The Present - I
Tags:bored, bore, bores, boring, paper pusher, paper pushers, office drone, office drones, work, works, worker, workers, escapism, escapist, desk, desks, office desk, office desks, blockbuster, blockbusters, summer blockbuster, summer blockbusters, title, titles, job title, job titles, present, presents, middle manager, middle managers, middle management, listless, doldrums, office job, office jobs, white collar job, white collar jobs, dissatisfied, dissatisfaction, summer movie, summer movies
"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."
Tags:midlife, midlife crisis, midlife crises, peter principle, ceiling, ceilings, competent, competence, incompetent, incompetence, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, corporate culture, corporation, corporations, megacorporation, megacorporations, white collar job, white collar jobs, office drone, office drones
"Corporate Diversity would like you to get a sex change."
Tags:multiculturalism, multicultural, diversity, diverse, diversity in the workplace, employee, employees, employer, employers, work, workplace, employment, corporate, corporate culture, corporate mentality, corporation, corporations, office, offices, white collar, white-collar, white collar jobs, job, jobs, career, careers, variety, varieties, mixture, acceptance, respect, respect one another, respect differences, team, teamwork, work together, equality, equal, equal opportunity, equal opportunity employers
"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."
Tags:advice, lesson learned, bad idea, bad ideas, tie, ties, bad tie, bow tie, bow ties, clown, clowns, office, offices, work, workplace, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, fashion, clothes, clothing, men's fashion, businessmen, business, employee of the month, club, clubs, social group, social groups, warning, heads up, employee, employees, professional, business professional
"No, not there, please. That's where I'm going to put my head."
Tags:head desk, head desks, head, heads, slam, slams, slamming, overworked, too much work, work, work life, work lives, secretary, secretaries, businessman, businessmen, underpaid, frustration, frustrations, frustrated, exasperated, furious, infuriated, papers, shuffling papers, white collar job, white collar jobs
"My instincts tell me to call an emergency board meeting. My emotions tell me to have it at the all-nude bar across the street."
Tags:board meeting, board meetings, emergency, emergencies, strip club, strip clubs, white collar, white collar jobs, worst instinct, worst instincts, instinct, instincts, emotion, emotions, emotional decision, emotional decisions, bad idea, bad ideas, businessman, businessmen, glass ceiling, glass ceilings, misogyny
Tags:lunch break, lunch breaks, skive, skives, skiving, worry, worries, worrying, procrastinate, procrastinates, procrastinating, worker, workers, daily grind, daily grinds, office drone, office drones, drone, drones, impatient, impatience, inbox, inboxes, outbox, outboxes, put off, puts off, putting off, listless, depressed, depression, workday, workdays, average day, average days, everyday, office worker, office workers, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs
"No, he's not one of ours. Have you tried accounting?"
Tags:accounting, accounting department, accounting departments, office, office worker, office workers, office drone, office drones, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, unwind, unwound, coil, coils, coiled, lost, lost and found, anxiety, anxieties, anxious, worry, worries, worrying, panic attack, panic attacks, panicked
"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"
Tags:sprained ankle, sprained ankles, war wound, war wounds, noble, nobility, martyr, martyrs, martyred, injured, injury, injuries, ankle, ankles, hardened, hard man, hard men, military man, military men, soft, soft man, soft men, upper class, upper classes, high class, high classes, leave no man behind, code of ethics, sacrifice, sacrifices, sacrificing, self-sacrifice, self-sacrificing, executive, executives, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, privilege, life of privilege
"I'll have the Master of Business Administration Lunch."
Tags:mba, mbas, masters, masters of business administration, administration, upper management, management, business lunch, business lunches, lunch, lunches, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, administrator, administrators, masters degree, masters degrees, advanced degree, advanced degrees, set menu, set menus, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants
Bear Office Worker
Tags:bear, bears, animal, animals, work, working, worker, workers, office, offices, cube, cubical, cubes, cubicles, employee, employees, desk job, white collar, white collar jobs, memo, memos, notes, note taking, note to self, reminiscent, reminiscing, longing, memories, good old days, home, impatient, tired
"Brodman, after giving it much thought, I've decided to let you go for no apparent reason."
Tags:unemployment, business, management, fire, fires, firing, firing culture, unemployed, office worker, office workers, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, white collar job, white collar jobs, white collar, business executive, business executive, manager, managers, boss, bosses, big boss, big bosses, mankoff
"Whatever the economy is doing, it's doing it without me."
Tags:economy, good economy, good economies, average worker, average workers, left behind, average person, average people, personal finances, finances, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, employment, employment rate, wage, wages, wage inequality, wage growth, job growth, fired, firing, firings, layoff, layoffs, laid off, injustice, white collar job, white collar jobs
"You've been in harness for twenty seven years, Hargraves, and now we'd like to shoot you."
Tags:retirement, forced retirement, fire, fired, firing, firings, layoff, layoffs, lay-off, lay-offs, laid off, mass lay offs, put out to pasture, shoot, shoots, killing, killings, execution, executions, mercy killing, mercy killings, livestock, corporate culture, horse, horses, harness, harnesses, heartless, merciless, manager, managers, executive, executives, corporate drone, office drone, white collar job, white collar jobs
Tags:sandwich, sandwiches, food, foods, lunch, lunch break, lunch order, ordering food, takeaway, fast food, takeout, to go, delivery, delivered, business, businesses, office, offices, conference call, conferences, conference meeting, meetings, phone call, phone calls, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, work, workplace
"We don't think you're going to be a good fit..."
Tags:corporate culture, corporate ladder, corporate mentality, megacorporation, megacorporations, corporation, corporations, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, fit, fit in, fits in, fitting in, same, identical, faceless, suit, suits, empty suit, empty suits, new job, new jobs, different, stand out, stands out, standing out, stick out, sticking out
"No sweat, Chief. I'm taking a personal day."
Tags:personal day, personal days, day off, days off, slacker, slackers, slack off, slacking off, employee, employees, worker, workers, office job, office jobs, mental health day, mental health days, boss, bosses, skive, skives, skiving, play hooky, playing hooky, kick back, kicks back, kicking back, white collar job, white collar jobs, cavalier, indifference, indifferent, hierarchy, hierarchies, insubordinate, insubordination
Some Friends From Work
Tags:colleague, colleagues, co-worker, co-workers, personality, personalities, personality type, personality types, pose, poses, posing, forgetful, absent-minded, absentminded, upbeat, positive, happy, cheerful, mate, mates, office mate, office mates, friend, friends, work, worker, workers, white collar job, white collar jobs, stereotype, stereotypes, stereotyping
"Sorry, Ted. I probably should have said 'spoiler alert' before I fired you."
Tags:job, jobs, career, careers, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, fired, firing, laid off, redundant, made redundant, redundancy, work, worker, workers, workplace, unemployed, unemployment, employer, employers, employee, employees, spoiler alert, spoilers, surprise, surprised, shock, shocked, shocking, let go, office, offices, office workers, white collar, white collar jobs
"A mouse! A mouse!"
Born In Captivity.
Tags:captivity, born in captivity, captive, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, businessman, businessmen, born to be wild, wild, wild years, suit, suits, work, works, working, worker, workers, lawyer, lawyers, middle class, upper class, rich person, rich people, wealthy, wealthy elite, elitist, elitism
"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."
Tags:corporation, corporations, identity, identities, secret identity, secret identities, corporate culture, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, have fun, fun, having fun, businessman, businessmen, white collar, white collar worker, white collar workers, white collar job, white collar jobs, office work, manager, managers, boss, bosses, cut loose, cuts loose, cutting loose, partier, partiers, partying