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"He said he couldn't help me unless I hurt all over."
'He's never been the same since he came out of his shell.'
Guru to man: 'You'd better have a seat - people tend to fall down the mountain when I tell them the meaning of life.'
Psychologist to patient: 'Your time is up, but I'd like to see you again next Flabberday at fifty-three o'clock.'
'With proper meditation, you can get bark and bite in harmony.'
Psychiatrist - 'Well, if you have nothing to say, I did some exciting things since our last session.'
'So, you're a banker? And how long have you been withdrawing?'
'So ... what makes you uptick?'