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The Post-Menopause early warning system.
'According to my wife, I snore, and one of these nights I may stop breathing.'
'I can change him!'
'When I say 'February' what do you think of? . . . I was hoping for 'Valentine's Day', but I guess that was a long shot.'
'I'm sorry, but I just think our lifelong friendship was built on being next to each other alphabetically, and now that I've married, well...'
'Geez, can't you think of a better way to remember all of your passwords?'
'You really need glasses, dear. You're starting to annoy me.'
'I wish my wife wouldn't phone to call me egotistical when I'm taking a selfie.'
"Any requests, babe, before I call it a night?"
"And because of this one, human indiscretion, the man and wife never trusted each other fully again."
Tags:marry, marriage, married, marries, infidelity, cheat, cheats, adulterer, adulterer, campfire, scout camp, scout, scouts, camping, camps, trust, trusting, indiscretion, human indiscretion, divorce, divorcing, relationship, relationships, divorces, divorcees, scary, scare, scary stories, story, ghost, ghost story, wife, husband, wives, husbands, tent, tents, scouting
"Look at you! Breaking out the good sweatpants today."
Tags:marriage, married, marrying, married life, argument, arguing, argue, argues, husband, wife, date, date night, fashion statement, fashion statements, fashion, fashion police, fashion crimes, faux pas, sweat, pants, sweat pants, sweatpants, casual, dress code, dress, code, pants, trousers, wrong trousers, honey, moon, honey moon period, honeymoon period
"What have you been up to?"
Tags:tall tale, tall tales, long story, long stories, tale, tales, story, stories, come home late, coming home late, wife, wives, scold, scolds, scolding, nag, nags, nagging, return home, returning home, suspicious, suspicion, suspicions, police line, police lines, husband, husbands, late night, late nights, late, tardy, tardiness, punctual, punctuality
The Tres Riches Heures of Enid Waldholtz
Tags:book of hours, tres rich heures, limbourg brothers, illumination, illuminations, life, lives, housewife, housewives, wife, wives, husband, husbands, sofa, sofas, mundane, life, lives, neglect, spouse, spouses, spousal, neglected housewife, neglected housewives, husband, husbands, inattentive husband, inattentive husbands
"If I had known you were going to wear the thong I would have killed myself."
Tags:boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, dating, date, dates, relationship, relationships, husband, wife, husbands, wives, couple, couples, marriage, married, marry, swimsuits, bathing suit, bathing suits, swimming costume, swimming costumes, swim trunks, beachwear, summer, summertime, sun, sunshine, beach, beaches, embarrassed, embarrassing, exaggerated, exaggerate, exaggerating, dramatic, confident, confidence, nagging, nag, bother, bothering, annoy, annoying, pestering, pestered
"The jackdaws are picking at my very heart!"
"Do you want to be ridiculously enmeshed?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, couple, couples, proposal, proposals, proposing, engagement, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, dating, date, dates, partner, partners, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, enmeshed, entangled, trap, traps, trapping, unhealthy, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy relationships, clingy, needy, relationship problems, relationship issues
"For our paper anniversary, he's going to assume my share of the national debt."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, old age, old people, ageing, aging, debt, in debt, paper anniversary, first year of marriage, anniversary, anniversaries, gift, gifts, present, presents, national debt
Tags:bill, clinton, politics, politician, politicians, political, political leader, political leaders, government, governments, president, presidents, underwear, pants, boxers, boxer briefs, undergarments, shorts, attraction, attractive, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women
"This isn't about you, Cheryl. In this crazy world your problems don't amount to a hill of beans. This is about me."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, partner, partners, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, dating, date, dates, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, divorce, divorces, split, splits, separation, separations, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, problem, problems, crazy world, hill of beans, ego, vanity, vain, self-centred, self-centered, selfish, narcissistic, narcissism, narcissist, narcissists, arrogant, arrogance, movie quotes, film quotes, movie, movie, films, films, man, men
"I'll give you an inch."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, sayings, saying, expression, expressions, conversation, conversations, discussion, discussions, arguments, argue, arguing, dispute, disputes, give them and inch and they will take a mile, inches, miles, measurement
"I understand completely. I like good movies, and you like bad movies."
Tags:film, films, husband, husbands, wife, wives, movie fan, movie fans, film fan, film fans, movie, movies, relationship, relationships, domestic, domestics, domestic spat, domestic spats, marital spat, marital spats, marital problem, marital problems, marriage problem, marriage problems, movie taste, movie tastes, film taste, film tastes
"Popcorn's done, honey."
(I'm tasting berries with deep earth overtones and a definite hint of almond) (That would be the Cyanide.)
"Are we percolating or festering?"
"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."
Tags:failing marriage, breaking up, divorce, divorcing, passion, passions, dead bedroom, dead bedrooms, passionate, husband, husbands, wife, wives, relationship, relationships, couple, couples, spouses, spouse, marriage, married, arts and crafts, egg painter, egg painters, egg painting, collection, collections