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"Longtime listeners, first-time callers."
"You're a good listener."
"I don't need to write it down, boss, I'm wearing a wire."
"I just heard someone hanging up on the other end....it's either mom or the NSA."
"I wish they would just go back to tapping our phone lines."
"In my day we had party lines where people could listen in on your conversations without you knowing it."
"Before I accept you as my coach, I just need to check you're not wearing a wire-tap."
'...But in case God misses something...'
'I've checked for bugs, investigated people, shaded the windows, but there's still a leak.'
"Okay, but before I tell you who broke the window I'll have to check you're not wearing a wire."
"No senator, you may not check me for a wire."