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"How come when men cook outdoors it's 'barbecuing,' but when women do it it's 'witchcraft'?"
Tags:witches, witchcraft, cauldrons, cauldron, magic, black magic, potion, potions, poison, poisons, cooking, cook, pot stirring, barbecuing, barbecue, bbq, cookout, grilling, grill, boil, boiled, gender stereotypes, gender norms, gender roles, full moon, women, men, magical, magic potion, magic potions
'I don't care if you only need the eye. You'll have to buy the whole newt!'
'My Brew's really hoppy. . . I use the whole frog!'
"Remember when we used to have to fatten the kids up first?"
Tags:childhood obesity, fat epidemic, obesity epidemic, fat, fatness, obese, obesity, gingerbread house, gingerbread houses, witch, witches, witchcraft, hansel, gretel, dietitian, dietitians, dietician, dieticians, nutritionist, nutritionists, junk food, junk foods, unhealthy lifestyle, unhealthy lifestyles, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, wicked witch, wicked witches
"I'd like to order from the children's menu."
Tags:witch, witches, cannibal, cannibals, cannibalism, human sacrifice, human sacrifices, wait staff, waiter, waiters, menu, menus, eating out, dining out, order, ordering, ordering food, childrens men, children's menu, kids menu, kid's menu, kids' menu, restaurants, sorceress, sorceresses, witchcraft, sorcery
"You know, this isn't helping convince people you're not a witch."
The Witch Sisters Fmaily Picture
'Turn yourself in? Look lady, confess all you want - there is no law against eating peanuts.'
Tags:witch, witches, witchcraft, evil, evilness, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, monster, monsters, peanut, peanuts, kid, kids, missing, missing child, missing poster, missing posters, confession, confessions, confess, crime, crimes, police, cop, cops, arrests, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"If she floats, she's a witch. If she sinks, maybe she had a point about women's rights."
Tags:dunking chair, dunking chairs, cucking stool, cucking stools, ducking stool, ducking stools, ducking chair, ducking chairs, cucking chair, cucking chairs, witch, witches, witchcraft, womens rights, women's rights, feminism, feminist, feminists, accusation, accusations, float, floats, female rights, gender inequality
Traffic Cone Monsters
'We really need to upgrade our Pharmacy!'
'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'
'I'd like the Hansel and Gretel value meal...'
Tags:witch, witches, witchcraft, wiccan, t shirt, tshirts, t-shirt, t-shirts, t shirt, t shirts, pagan witchcraft, pagan witchcraft, pagan, pagans, gerald gardner, wicca, yes we can, obama, barack obama, president obama, former president, former presidents, campaign, campaigns, political campaign, political campaign, campaign slogan, campaign slogans, political slogan, political slogans
"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"
'It cooks great, but it won't fit in the dishwasher.'
"How do you get your children not to stick to the bottom of the cauldron?"
'I remember when tea leaves were the state of the art method of determining your inventory needs.'
"I'm not sending Christmas cards this year."
"It's less of a spell than it is a signature scent."
'What's your poison?'
'It's her own fault, she was texting at the time.'
'Needs more kale.'