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"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."
Tags:amendment, amendments, right, rights, bill of rights, twenty first amendment, twenty-first amendment, exercising rights, exercising my right, repeal, repeals, 21st amendment, 18th amendment, eighteenth amendment, prohibition, prohibitionist, repealed, relationship, relationships, drink, drinking, drinks, drunk, drunkard, righteous, witty, wit, witticism, marriage, married, marries, marriages, constitution, constitutional rights, american constitution, us constitution
"He must smell your elk."
"This is what you get for trying to be a wit."
Tags:wit, wits, witty, wittiness, witticism, witticisms, smart alek, smart alecks, smart alec, smart alecs, jestor, jestors, jester, jesters, firing squad, firing squads, executioner, executioners, execution, executions, death penalty, death penalties, death sentence, death sentences, smart ass, smart asses, dictator, dictators, dictatorship, tyranny, tyrannies, tyrant, tyrants
"I don't get it."
"I dread his sarcasm even more."
People want as much government as they deserve.
The noise you're trying not to hear is always the loudest.
A well-balanced meal to a kid is a candy bar in each hand.
"I don't need a club or a spear, now that I've mastered sarcasm."
Singing is everyone's shower rights.
A good speech is always shorter than you audience's attention span.
Sound effects are a universal language.
Be prepared - Don't jump to confusion.
To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."
Tags:wordplay, word play, wordplays, word-play, word game, word games, word-game, word-games, pun, puns, witticism, witticisms, witty, wittiness, barista, baristas, coffee, coffees, brew, brews, menu, menus, word, career, careers, career path, career paths, sense of humour, sense of humor, cafe, cafes
'I thought up an incredible sting of rapid-fire witticisms. Too bad they came two hours after my speech.'
"I just love the way he goes 'Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.' "
Tags:laugh, laughs, laughing, laughter, nice laugh, kind laugh, quote, quotes, quotation, quotations, witty, witticism, witticisms, memorable, attraction, attractions, attractive, attractiveness, hilarious, funny, silly, goofy, charm, charms, charming, stranger, strangers, cocktail party, cocktail parties, flirt, flirts
"I write astronaut banter for NASA."
Tags:nasa, spacemen, spaceman, space people, cosmonaut, cosmonauts, space travel, space exploration, banter, banter, bantering, bantered, astronaut, astronauts, social media, social network, social networks, social networking, witticism, wit, wits, witty, witticisms, wittiness, job title, job titles, job description, job descriptions, cocktail party, cocktail parties
A side of Bach few ever saw.
"If you weren't so funny all the time, I'd probably laugh more often."
Tags:date, dating, dates, bad date, bad dates, dating disaster, funny, joke, jokes, comedian, witticism, witty, wit, put-down, put-downs, denigrate, denigrates, try-hard, bad jokes, class clown, clowns, bad relationship, bitterness, argument, argue, argues, marriage, married couple, old married couple, bickering, bicker
'Wow. Wooden club. What an exciting time to be alive.'
"My dad said he never had a sarcasm app when he was growing up. He thought up his own comebacks."
Tags:sarcasm, sarcastic, sarcasms, apps, app, application, applications, dads, parents, kids, smartphone, smartphones, cellphone, cellphones, cell, cells, wit, witticism, witticisms, gadget, gadgets, banter, comeback, combacks, gadgetry, dad, parent, kid, friend, smart phone, smart alec, smart aleck, smart alecs, smart alecks
'To get ahead in business, you can't lose your head. Pun intended.'