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"He must smell your elk."
"This is what you get for trying to be a wit."
Tags:wit, wits, witty, wittiness, witticism, witticisms, smart alek, smart aleks, smart alec, smart alecs, jestor, jestors, jester, jesters, firing squad, firing squads, executioner, executioners, execution, executions, death penalty, death penalties, death sentence, death sentences, smart ass, smart asses, dictator, dictators, dictatorship, tyranny, tyrannies, tyrant, tyrants
"I don't get it."
Singing is everyone's shower rights.
A good speech is always shorter than you audience's attention span.
Be prepared - Don't jump to confusion.
Sound effects are a universal language.
To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
People want as much government as they deserve.
A well-balanced meal to a kid is a candy bar in each hand.
The noise you're trying not to hear is always the loudest.
'I thought up an incredible sting of rapid-fire witticisms. Too bad they came two hours after my speech.'
"I just love the way he goes 'Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.' "
Tags:laugh, laughs, laughing, laughter, nice laugh, kind laugh, quote, quotes, quotation, quotations, witty, witticism, witticisms, memorable, attraction, attractions, attractive, attractiveness, hilarious, funny, silly, goofy, charm, charms, charming, stranger, strangers, cocktail party, cocktail parties, flirt, flirts, flirting
A side of Bach few ever saw.
"I write astronaut banter for NASA."
Tags:nasa, spacemen, spaceman, space people, cosmonaut, cosmonauts, space travel, space exploration, banter, banter, bantering, bantered, astronaut, astronauts, social media, social network, social networks, social networking, witticism, wit, wits, witty, witticisms, wittiness, job title, job titles, job description, job descriptions, cocktail party, cocktail parties
"My dad said he never had a sarcasm app when he was growing up. He thought up his own comebacks."
Tags:sarcasm, sarcastic, sarcasms, apps, app, application, applications, dads, parents, kids, smartphone, smartphones, cellphone, cellphones, cell, cells, wit, witticism, witticisms, gadget, gadgets, banter, comeback, combacks, gadgetry, dad, parent, kid, friend, smart phone, smart alec, smart aleck, smart alecs, smart alecks
'To get ahead in business, you can't lose your head. Pun intended.'
You have to exert push before you earn pull.
I never met a man I didn't like - but I've got a couple short-listed.
When the meek inherit the earth, how will they pay the national deficit?
A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.
The one thing about a queue is it keeps everyone in line.
When you get the second cup free, it's called a coffee break.
It's a good bet that the person asking for a divorce has already fallen in love.