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'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'
'I don't care if you built it yourself. This place is a fire trap.'
....Third Little Pig was outbid.
'Now to the layperson this may seem like just a junky little house, but it's actually a really nice treehouse. . . conveniently located on the ground.'
Big Bad Wolf birthday
'You know I don't like saltboxes!'
'Ha, ha, the joke's on you. I have the homeowners protection plan!'