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"Let's see now - have we got everything?"
Tags:beer, beers, alcohol, alcoholic, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking buddy, hunter, hunters, hunting, hunting season, open season, masculine, masculinity, men, mens, manly, manliness, woodsmen, dad, dads, father, fathers, gone fishing, boy's night, boys, boy's holiday, color, colour, colours, colors, gun, guns, hunting rifle
"You did this? Wow, you're good."
Tags:beaver, beavers, logger, loggers, logging, deforestation, wood, woods, woodsman, woodsmen, lumberjack, lumberjacks, lumber, tree, trees, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmental activist, environmental activists, environmental disaster, environmental disasters, saw, saws, electric saw, electric saws
Cutting the tree too early?
"Wait! Wait! Wait! I can tell you exactly what it sounds like if I fall and nobody hears it!"
"I've got a splitting headache."
'Still, it's important to remember that I accomplished my goal of retiring at fifty.'
"First the head came off, now the handle's come out."
"Where did you learn to chop trees?"
'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'
Tags:wood, woods, woodsman, woodsmen, log, logs, logger, loggers, beaver, beavers, pet, pets, feed, feeds, feeding, fed, feeder, feeders, table, tables, table leg, table legs, axe, axes, wood cutter, wood cutters, own, owns, owner, owners, chew, chews, chewing, chewed, prove, proves, proving, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Tags:woodsman, woodsmen, palm tree, palm trees, tree, trees, chop, chops, chopping, chopped, axe, axes, cut, cuts, cutting, cutter, cutters, woodcutter, woodcutters, woodcutting, isolate, isolates, isolated, island, islands, desert island, desert islands, lumberjack, lumberjacks, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
The tin woodsman discovers the advantages of having no heart,
Tags:wizard of oz, tin, woodsman, woodsmen, tins, heart, hearts, insult, insults, insulter, insulted, insulting, waitress, waitresses, waiter, waiters, serve, serves, serving, server, order, orders, ordering, orderer, orderers, ugly, unattractive, comment, comments, lack of emotion, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
Oh, good - Looks like the doctor's in.
Tags:doctor, doctors, wood, wooden, puppet, puppets, rhinoplasty, woodcutter, woodcutters, chop, chopper, chopping, chops, choppers, woodsman, woodsmen, axe, axes, saw, saws, sawing, axing, blade, blades, woodwork, woodworks, woodworking, woodworker, woodworkers, pleased, happy, cure, cured, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
'We think the murderer may be a lumberjack.'
Lumberjack's Epic Fail
Jack was agreat tradesman but unfortunately, his geographical skills were lousy.
'Hard day of clear cutting, dear?'
'I think you'll like the spotted owl. It tastes like a cross between a bald eagle and a Californian condor.'
Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.
'For goodness sake. Pull yourself together.'
"That's disgusting! Can't you go ashore when you want a pee?"
"...And that'll be the year they tied a yellow round the old oak tree."