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'It's not that Ted was a bad guy, he was just all out of 5's.'
Desk bins: 'Action' 'Action-Worthy' 'Action-ific'... 'Actually Done' (Nothing).
'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'
Rock, paper and scissors fighting in office conference room.
"We have a certain spirit here, Cosgrove. We call it 'esprit de corporation'."
"Home office, O.K. Office home, not O.K."
Tags:home office, office home, shower, showering, showers, take a shower, washing, wash, wash up, washing up, clean, cleaning, taking a shower, showering at work, bath, bathing, office, offices, workplace, work, remote worker, working remotely, coworkers, coworker, boss, manager, management, managers
'They've been like this ever since Mary presented her report. It's the worst case of paralysis by analysis I've ever seen!'
Wild Window Washers
Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'
"I'm kind of enjoying black-tie Fridays."
Tags:office, offices, office life, workplace, workplaces, job, jobs, work, casual friday, casual fridays, casual day, casual days, dress-down friday, dress-down fridays, dress code, dress codes, business, black-tie, black tie, formal, tux, tuxedo, tuxedos, gown, ballgown, ballgown, ball gowns, ballgowns, gowns, worker, workers, employee, employees, commuting, commuter, commuters, clothes, clothing, fashion, modern life
"We were hoping that you could work from work today."
Tags:work, working, worker, workers, job, jobs, career, careers, office, office, office life, workplace, workplaces, business, businesswoman, sick, ill, absent, employee, employer, employees, employer, work remotely, working remotely, telecommute, telecommuting, remote work, work from home, work from work, home office, in-office, in office, call-in, calling-in, call in, calling in, manager, managers, management, modern life
Violence as a Management Tool
Tags:violence, violent, workplace violence, manager, managers, management, management tools, bad manager, bad managers, bad executives, bad executive, bad workplace, workplace, workplaces, boss, bosses, bossy, bad boss, bad bosses, anger, angry, anger management, office, offices, office work, office life, employee, employees, manager, managers, punch, punches, punched, puncher, fist, fists
'Attention, everyone. Our CEO will be touring the department in ten minutes. Please take the 'Change is Good' placards out of your lower desk drawers, dust them off, and hang them in a prominent place. Thank you!'
"As I entered the courthouse this morning, I distinctly heard a high-pitched kissing noise directed my way!"
'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'
'You weren't here to say no.'
"This is first-quarter projected-earnings report--does it make my butt look big?"
"I much preferred the backstabbing to the paint-balling."
Tags:paintball, paintballers, paintballer, target practice, work, working, worker, workers, job, jobs, office, offices, workplace, workplaces, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, manager, management, managers, managing, office life, office culture, backstabbing, backstabber, stabbed in the back, machinations, office politics, office worker, office workers, conflict, conflicts
"Corporate Diversity would like you to get a sex change."
Tags:multiculturalism, multicultural, diversity, diverse, diversity in the workplace, employee, employees, employer, employers, work, workplace, employment, corporate, corporate culture, corporate mentality, corporation, corporations, office, offices, white collar, white-collar, white collar jobs, job, jobs, career, careers, variety, varieties, mixture, acceptance, respect, respect one another, respect differences, team, teamwork, work together, equality, equal, equal opportunity, equal opportunity employers
"You've been warned, Hoskins."
Tags:snake, snakes, corporate snake, corporate snakes, rattle snake, rattle snakes, work, working, worker, workers, job, jobs, office, offices, workplace, workplaces, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, manager, management, managers, managing, office life, office culture, office worker, office workers, threat, threaten, threatening, threats, middle management, middle manager, intimidation, intimidate, intimidations, intimidated
"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."
"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"
Tags:workplace, workplaces, work, office, offices, folksy, folk, wisdom, wisdom, weird jobs, weird job, weird roles, unnecessary jobs, unnecessary job, unnecessary roles, weird coworker, weird coworkers, coworker, coworkers, colleague, colleagues, weird colleague, weird colleagues, random jobs, random roles, pearls of wisom, advice, advice giver
"We only hire temps, and you have a look of permanence about you."
Tags:temp, temps, temp worker, temp workers, office temp, office temps, permanent, permanence, permanent job, permanent jobs, worker, workers, workplace, workplaces, corporation, corporations, corporate culture, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, big corporation, big corporations, uncaring, hire, hires, hiring
"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."
Tags:advice, lesson learned, bad idea, bad ideas, tie, ties, bad tie, bow tie, bow ties, clown, clowns, office, offices, work, workplace, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, fashion, clothes, clothing, men's fashion, businessmen, business, employee of the month, club, clubs, social group, social groups, warning, heads up, employee, employees, professional, business professional
'Would everyone please join hands for a moment? I'd like to try jump-starting this meeting!'