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Anderson, if you think you can get out of the deadline by spontaneously combusting, you're sadly mistaken."
"Don't worry, our benefits cover great therapy."
"Company policy, as soon as your name goes on a door you get your own blood pressure cuff."
"Who do I hold accountable if you miss the deadline? Any next of kin?"
Clients who show up early for an appointment are really annoying ??" especially when you work from home.
"What do you mean, you need to find a balance between work and family? We consider you part of our family."
'Stress can kill, but it takes too long.'
"Things have been rough since the merger."
"The guy you replaced died of old age right there at his desk. He was only 36."
"Could you call us back? Our librarian is down."
'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'
A mailman walks past carrying a gun while a man posts a letter
'What? Even the phone is dead! What did I say about bringing your work home?'
'Mr. Fogarty believes that people work better under the constant threat of a noogie.'
violence in the workplace
"I figure whatever doesn't kill me gets me one day closer to stress leave."
"With my new raise comes more responsibility and my choice of four new stress related illnesses!"
'This is our employee burnout center. These are the ones who checked out of reality long ago.'