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"He appears to have eaten some homework."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, animal doctor, animal doctors, medicine, medical, animal medicine, doctor, doctors, x-ray, x-rays, stomach, stomachs, sick, ill, paper, papers, homework, school, schools, schoolwork, education, dog ate my homework
A doctor looks at a nurse and imagines a skeleton
Tags:doctor, doctors, nurse, nurse, 1940s nurse, 1950s nurse, hospital, hospitals, skeleton, skeletons, x-ray, x-rays, professional, professionalism, professionals, vintage cartoon, vintage cartoons, 1940s, 1950s, colleague, colleagues, radiologist, radiologists, bone, bones, orthopaedic surgeons, orthopaedic surgeon
'...by doubling up on patients in the MRI, we're able to cut costs in half...'
'Just as I thought. You have bones.'
"I don't like the look of these. I better send them up to legal."
'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'
Tags:cockroach, cockroaches, squashed, squash, squashes, squashing, crush, crushed, crushes, crushing, pest, pests, american football, nfl, national football league, football, tackle, tackles, tackled, x-ray, x-rays, pain, abdominal pain, dizziness, diagnosis, diagnose, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"If we don't find anything wrong on these we'll take some more."
'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'
'I'm sorry, Ms. Pelosi. You'll have to pass it so we can find out what's in it.'
'I have the results of your liver scan. You don't have all your ducts in a row.'
"You're free to go, sir. But, seriously, I'd get that prostate looked at."
"It's as I suspected—Mr. Harding, here, is possessed by demons."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, x-ray, x-rays, exam, exams, examination, examinations, diagnosis, diagnosis, sick, sickness, ill, illness, demons, devil, devils, horror, evil, possessed, possession, haunted, haunting, exorcism, supernatural, myth, myths, legend, legends
"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."
Tags:heart, heart problem, heart problems, heart stent, heart stents, signature, signatures, sign, signs, signing, autograph, autographs, open-heart surgery, open-heart surgeries, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, pride, cast, casts, patient, patients, operation, operations, support, supportive, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, xray, xrays, x-ray, x-rays
'I'm pretty sure he's been s-q-u-a-s-h-e-d...'
Tags:insect, insects, radiology, radiologist, radiologists, spelling, spell, spells, bug, bugs, flea, fleas, x-ray, x-rays, mri, mri scan, mri scans, doctor, doctors, diagnosis, diagnoses, medical opinion, medical opinions, basketball injury, basketball injuries, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'As you can see, the CAT scan of your brain turned up positive.'
'Your infrastructure needs work.'
'Could you maybe fax a copy of this to my radiologist?'
'It's carpal tunnel syndrome. You're going to have to quit your job working the bleep button for the Jerry Springer show.'
Tags:jerry springer, swear, swears, swearing, swore, bleep, bleeps, bleeping, bleeped, bleeper, bleepers, button, buttons, push, pushes, pushing, pushed, chat show, chat shows, carpal, carpals, xray, xrays, x ray, x rays, x-ray, x-rays, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, diagnosis, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Hip replacement? He was never hip to begin with.'
'Your x-rays don't look good.'
'This one didn't turn out either. You must've moved.'
Surfer and the Whale
Tags:jonah, ultrasound, ultrasounds, surfer, surfers, surfing, surf, surfs, predator, predators, prey, preys, food chain, food chains, whale, whales, xray, xrays, x-ray, x-rays, x ray, x rays, marine life, marine animal, marine animals, doctor, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, veterinary surgeon, veterinary surgeons, doctors, physician, physicians, md, mds
'I'm afraid it's stupidity. And it appears to be spreading.'
The M.R.I. of Love
'I'm afraid you're a jerk, Mr. Weatherby.'