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'Are you keeping pace with spending predictions?'
'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'
Tags:family life, family-life, septic tank, septic tanks, plunger, plungers, plumber, plumbers, plumbing, christmas morning, christmas mornings, xmas, magic, festive spirit, festive spirits, seasonal spirit, emergency plumber, emergencies, disenchantment, disenchanted, holidays, real life adventures
'We'd like to speak with you about your coal policy.'
'See? I told you he was real.'
'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'
'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'
'Don't they know we're Jewish?'
'Feed the homeless' - 'I'm a cute puppy'
The wise men are followed by an auditor.
Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.
It was at times like this he realised the value of a more personal insurance service.
"I can't help but feel disappointed."
Tags:disappointed, disappointment, disappointments, father christmas, santa, santa claus, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, st nick, st nicholas, festive period, festive season, disappointment, disappointments, christmas, christmases, xmas, xmases, festive period, christmas eve, xmas eve
"For kids who think they can be naughty again after Christmas, I'm the Re-Po Elf."
Tags:christmas, xmas, yule, noel, elf, elves, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, troublesome, kid, kids, child, children, behavior, behaviour, bad behavior, bad behaviour, repo, re-po, repossession, repo man, repo men, repossession agent, repossession agents, santa's list
"We'd be there by now in the car you know."
Tags:sleigh, sleigh ride, sleigh rides, sleighs, sled, sleds, sledge, sledges, romance, romances, romantic, romantics, practical, practicality, practicalities, sensible, christmas, xmas, christmases, xmases, festive period, festive season, santa claus, father christmas, festive spirit, xmas spirit, car, cars, snow, snowfall, snowfalls, snowing
Letter to Santa, 'Dear Santa, Some Assembly Required. Timmy'
"The 'Ho ho ho' thing—we get it. By Act II, I'm looking for it to have evolved."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, santa's workshop, ho ho ho, acting, actor, actors, actress, actresses, acting workshop, acting workshops, evolving, evolved, evolution, improvement, improving, acting coach, acting coaches, casting director, casting directors, training, critique, critiquing, critical, criticising, criticizing, advice, entertainment
'Well, don't just stand there Tommy! Open it up and see what's inside!'
'It looks like Reindeer!!'
Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'
Santa's Early Years of Research and Development...
The Incorrectness of Santa
Tags:santa, santa claus, incorrect, politically incorrect, political incorrectness, politically correct, role model, role models, bad role model, bad role models, ceo, ceos, sexist, christmas, holiday season, holiday sons, xmas, x-mas, union, unions, workshop, workshops, sweatshop, sweatshops, toys for boys, toys for girls
"And here's where we make toys for bad little boys and girls!"
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, workshop, workshops, work shop, work shops, elf, elves, naughty list, naughty lists, toy, toys, making toys, north pole, bad list, bad lists, lump of coal, lumps of coal, santa claus is coming to town, naughty children, tortures, christmas, x-mas, xmas, christmas season, holiday season
"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."
Tags:business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, meeting, meetings, boardroom, boardrooms, company, companies, corporation, corporations, corporate, holiday, holidays, appropriate, war on christmas, political correctness, politically correct, greeting, greetings, seasons greetings, holiday greetings, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, legal department, legal, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, card, cards, greeting card, greeting cards, christmas card, christmas cards, unoffensive, modern life
"The Crandalls wish us a Merry Christmas, and add that they're now worth over two million."
Tags:greeting card, greeting cards, christmas card, christmas cards, christmas letter, christmas letters, christmas, xmas, noel, yule, card, cards, letter, letters, note, notes, merry christmas, greeting, greetings, brag, bragging, boast, boasting, boastful, show-off, show-offs, showing off, money, rich, wealthy, wealth, worth, value, finances, personal finances, social status