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'I have the results of your liver scan. You don't have all your ducts in a row.'
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doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, duct, ducts, bile duct, bile ducts, liver duct, liver ducts, scan, scans, x-ray, x-rays, plumber, plumbers, plumbing, piping, xray, x rays, x ray, xrays, liver, gastroenterologist, gastroenterologists, livers, diagnostics, radiology"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."
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heart, heart problem, heart problems, heart stent, heart stents, signature, signatures, sign, signs, signing, autograph, autographs, open-heart surgery, open-heart surgeries, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, pride, cast, casts, patient, patients, operation, operations, support, supportive, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, xray, xrays, x-ray, x-rays'It's carpal tunnel syndrome. You're going to have to quit your job working the bleep button for the Jerry Springer show.'
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jerry springer, swear, swears, swearing, swore, bleep, bleeps, bleeping, bleeped, bleeper, bleepers, button, buttons, push, pushes, pushing, pushed, chat show, chat shows, carpal, carpals, xray, xrays, x ray, x rays, x-ray, x-rays, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, diagnosis, the flying mccoys, flying mccoysSurfer and the Whale
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jonah, ultrasound, ultrasounds, surfer, surfers, surfing, surf, surfs, predator, predators, prey, preys, food chain, food chains, whale, whales, xray, xrays, x-ray, x-rays, x ray, x rays, marine life, marine animal, marine animals, doctor, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, veterinary surgeon, veterinary surgeons, doctors, physician, physicians, md, mds"Your vocabulary is enlarged."
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lit, literature, literary, literatures, lit major, vocab, vocabulary, words, word, language, languages, brain, brains, smart, smarter, smartness, intelligent, intelligence, brain, brains, x-ray, xray, x ray, scan, scans, scanned, medical, doctor, doctors, consultant, consultants, surgery, surgeon, skull, skulls, exam, examination, appointment, word, words, play on words, word playThe M.R.I. of Love
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magnetic resonance imaging, mri, m.r.i., mris, m.r.i.s, fairground, fairgrounds, fairground ride, fairground rides, xray, xrays, x-ray, x-rays, x ray, x rays, true love, romance, romances, romantic, romantics, date, dates, unromantic'You are what you eat.'
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you are what you eat, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, dog lover, dog lovers, xray, xrays, x-ray, x-rays, bone, bones, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, diet, diets, healthy eating, healthy living'The bad news is you've swallowed a bunch of those little, green plastic army soldiers. The good news is they all ended up in your GI tract.'
Tunnel of Anxiety
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mri scan, mri scans, mri, mris, xray, xrays, x-ray, x-rays, x ray, x rays, disease, diseases, radiology, radiologist, radiologists, nerves, nervous, nervousness, anxiety, anxious, anxiousness, healthcare, health care, diagnosis, diagnostic, diagnostics'According to the films, it appears I've left an instrument inside you. Luckily, I can fix that in Photoshop.'
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instrument, instruments, surgical instrument, surgical instruments, malpractice, op, ops, operation, operations, operate, operates, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, surgeries, films, x-ray, x-rays, x ray, x rays, xray, xrays, photoshop, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, photoshop'Let's see now, say, do you mind if I keep your x-ray for a book I'm writing on fatal diseases?'
'We've pin-pointed the cause of your pain... and I've also located the whereabouts of our missing scissors!'
'Your HMO doesn't cover X-rays. I'm glad you could break a dollar.'
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copy machine, copy machines, photocopier, photocopiers, photocopy, photocopies, copies, copy, copying, xray, medical insurance, healthcare, doctors, doctor, nurse, medicine, medical, visit, health care, copier, toner, inkjet, refill, x-ray, x-rays"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."
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teddy bear, teddy, teddies, bears, teddy bears, bear, teddy, batteries, dead batteries, aa, double a, toy, toys, battery-operated, doctor, procedure, operation, removal, doctor's office, x-ray, xray, xray, patient, new batteries"I think we got all of it."
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hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, healthcare, xray, x-ray, x-rays, xrays, health-care, health care, amputations, amputee, amputees, amputated, hospital bed, hospital beds, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, surgeries, disease, diseases, contagion, contagious"Looks like it could be depression."
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x-ray, x-rays, xray, xrays, depressed, depression, mental health, frown, sad, doctor, medical help, diagnosis, frowning, sadness, doctors, patient, patients, grumpy, grumpy woman, grumpy women, grumpiness, down in the dumps, sadMan with a Fish Skeleton.
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x-ray, x-rays, x ray, x rays, xray, xrays, skeleton, skeletons, doctor, doctors, bone, bones, fish skeleton, fish skeletons, bone structure, bone structures, broken bone, broken bones, hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, radiologists, radiologist, radiology, unusual