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'Just as I thought. You have bones.'
"I don't like the look of these. I better send them up to legal."
'I have the results of your liver scan. You don't have all your ducts in a row.'
"You're free to go, sir. But, seriously, I'd get that prostate looked at."
"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."
Tags:heart, heart problem, heart problems, heart stent, heart stents, signature, signatures, sign, signs, signing, autograph, autographs, open-heart surgery, open-heart surgeries, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, pride, cast, casts, patient, patients, operation, operations, support, supportive, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, xray, xrays, x-ray, x-rays
'Your infrastructure needs work.'
'Could you maybe fax a copy of this to my radiologist?'
'It's carpal tunnel syndrome. You're going to have to quit your job working the bleep button for the Jerry Springer show.'
Tags:jerry springer, swear, swears, swearing, swore, bleep, bleeps, bleeping, bleeped, bleeper, bleepers, button, buttons, push, pushes, pushing, pushed, chat show, chat shows, carpal, carpals, xray, xrays, x ray, x rays, x-ray, x-rays, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, diagnosis, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Surfer and the Whale
Tags:jonah, ultrasound, ultrasounds, surfer, surfers, surfing, surf, surfs, predator, predators, prey, preys, food chain, food chains, whale, whales, xray, xrays, x-ray, x-rays, x ray, x rays, marine life, marine animal, marine animals, doctor, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, veterinary surgeon, veterinary surgeons, doctors, physician, physicians, md, mds
"Your vocabulary is enlarged."
Tags:lit, literature, literary, literatures, lit major, vocab, vocabulary, words, word, language, languages, brain, brains, smart, smarter, smartness, intelligent, intelligence, brain, brains, x-ray, xray, x ray, scan, scans, scanned, medical, doctor, doctors, consultant, consultants, surgery, surgeon, skull, skulls, exam, examination, appointment, word, words, play on words, word play
The M.R.I. of Love
'You are what you eat.'
'The bad news is you've swallowed a bunch of those little, green plastic army soldiers. The good news is they all ended up in your GI tract.'
Tunnel of Anxiety
'According to the films, it appears I've left an instrument inside you. Luckily, I can fix that in Photoshop.'
'My Insurance won't pay for an MRI.'
'Let's see now, say, do you mind if I keep your x-ray for a book I'm writing on fatal diseases?'
'We've pin-pointed the cause of your pain... and I've also located the whereabouts of our missing scissors!'
'I'm referring you to an 'ear, nose and throat' specialist.'
'Your HMO doesn't cover X-rays. I'm glad you could break a dollar.'
"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."
"I think we got all of it."
"Looks like it could be depression."
'This is very uncommon with men...'coupon clipper's wrist'.'
Man with a Fish Skeleton.