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"They won't sign it unless you agree to a zero hours contract, your majesty."
Corporate Responsibility Suggested Guidelines.
"I'm on a zero hours contract."
"A serf? We don't call you 'serfs' anymore. Nowadas we call you flexibly employed staff members!"
"I'm with Oober-temp. I do the same job as you for less money. I live nearby so I can get here before you do and your employer gets to feel hip by using a hot new app...sorry, your 'ex-employer'."
"To get the most productivity, I'm converting you all to contract employees."